4212 Olive

I’m sure most of you have heard the phrase, the hill I’ll die on or not the hill I die on.  I’ve been thinking about that for several weeks now.

The definition from Wiktionary is; ‘refers to an issue or position that someone is willing to defend with strong conviction, regardless of the potential costs or consequences. It implies a commitment to a particular belief or principle, often with little intention of compromise.’

Sometimes it’s just financial reach and frequency.  The significance may not have origin or foundation. It might be thrown around casually in humor, on podcasts, in fact there is a podcast called, “Hills I’d Die On. 

Not something that should be done casually even in jest these days, the hill I’ll die on. “I think it’s worth it to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the second amendment to protect our other God-given rights. That is a prudent deal. It is rational.”  I do not know him, but I’m willing to say this is not the hill Charlie Kirk wanted to die on.   

In 2023, gun suicides 27,300, gun homicides 17,927, unintentional 463, law enforcement 604.

Words have power and consequences.

“If I see a Black pilot, I’m going to be like, boy, I hope he’s qualified.”

“If we would have said that Joy Reid and Michelle Obama and Sheila Jackson Lee and Ketanji Brown Jackson were affirmative action picks, we would have been called racists. Now they’re coming out and they’re saying it for us … You do not have the brain processing power to otherwise be taken really seriously. You had to go steal a white person’s slot to go be taken somewhat seriously.”

Joy Reid – Harvard -BA, pre-med track before shifting to Journalism

Michelle Obama – Princeton -BA, Harvard -Juris Doctor

Shelia Jackson – Yale -BA, U.VA -Juris Doctor

Ketanji Brown Jackson – Harvard Government, Harvard J-uris Doctor

Charlie Kirk – Harper College -one semester

I have been reading and cringingly listening to him for the last few days. I’ve taken the last few days to do this because, my head, my heart and my gut can only take a few minutes at a time. They say that one day ir one event shouldn’t define the person. What he has said and done in the last four years says to me, he is troubled or trouble and a full on racist. And has bastardized, religion and Christianity.

A provocateur. Per the Safari “search assist”, a person who intentionally incites others to take action, often to provoke strong reactions or create controversy. Engages in behavior designed to provoke strong reactions or dissent.  May stir up dissent within a group to undermine efforts.  They might infiltrate to incite violence. 

He found a way to capitalize on an unfounded fear that was and would be perpetuated by a presidential candidate.  He is/was provocateur, who in that niche finacially benefited rapidly. In 2016 he was making $27,000. By 2021 $407,00. Early on TP struggled. Becoming an ally to the president, contributions doubled, tripled, reaching $79.2 million.

Now I have no issue with successful people doing well and making money.  Even making it quickly. But not on the backs of others or in the act of becoming successful there is harm and marginalization of any measure to other humans.  His message represents the worst of us.

While he had his followers, there was a mountain of harm happening, direct from him and some of those followers. Every day people going about their lives, were targets. Death treats from his followers to those on a hit list and often their families. I would imagine that there were probably threats to him as well. Another hill I guess.

For a range of reasons, I feel for his children. If their mother’s grace at his memorial was true and genuine, will she or can she have influence on the vengeance the others there are fully committed to? I lack the confidence for that at any level. It will be and continue to be hate for his opponents wishing upon them the worst. Although we still have to figure out who those people are.

At a memorial service. When they show you who they are, believe them.

Sometimes I work for days or maybe even longer to put into words what is in my brain. Sometimes, lots of times I read someone else who brings the words together better than I could.

“Imagine a world where differences are not sources of division but threads woven into a vibrant tapestry of human experience.”

-Bridging Divides: Understanding and Overcoming “Othering”.

A set of dynamics, processes, and structures to engender marginality and inequality across any of the full range of human differences based on group identities,”

-Stephen Menedian, Haas and John A. Powell, UC Berkeley

“…values their own group while denigrating and excluding anyone from a group different from theirs…”

-MasterClass

In today’s climate and the overwhelming amount of rhetoric, it’s hard to not fall into othering language. And honestly, what some say is othering personified, inflammatory, reeks of dehumanization and makes me want to other them.

And…here is the part where I might lose some of you who are reading. Some may feel they have been excluded or denigrated. Well let’s take a few, are you Black, Brown, Gay, Lesbian, or Trans? If not, then you will have a hard time convincing me that you have been othered, truly marginalized. Sorry. Othering justifies mistreatment. Have you had your basic human rights taken? Stopped by law enforcement just because. That said, nothing justifies mistreatment, period. But let’s measure it.

With the language today, what or how some things are said in many circumstances I maintain, it’s not right or left, it is just wrong. I strive to be very measured and fair in what I say or write. Sometimes this works. Sometimes I hear myself othering. Sometimes I don’t hear it. I invite you to call me out.

Us vs. Them, racial or ethnic differences, gender, sexual orientation, and socioeconomic’s are frequent targets of othering and marginalization. This is happening today. Without actual proof or direct knowledge of facts, we are othering. Division, violence, persecution and broad marginalization is disrupting and fracturing levels of belonging that could and can rewards each of us with a range of experiences. Yes I said rewards. A range of rewards for us from those we are told to fear and avoid and see as enemy, simply are not.

I’m going to say it’s not US vs. Them. It’s US vs. *Him.

Unity for me is all about letting people do their own thing and live their best lives. It’s not about controlling or expecting others to do what I think is right. It’s about giving them the freedom to take care of themselves and make choices that are best for them, without physical harm to another. The hard part, when something is said and within hours you see or read the direct negative impact of what was said.

I sincerely hope that we all share a common understanding of right and wrong. I believe that a moral and ethical compass guides us away from causing harm to others and encourages us to seek the root causes of such harm without prejudice.

However, if we let it happen, once the ‘othering’ is complete and a small group of white (rich) men make decisions for you, what kind of life will you have? Does the peace and stability you seek truly involve the exclusion of others? Where does this process end? Do you genuinely believe it will stop before it reaches you?

If your purpose is to protect your family, what are you protecting them from? Seriously. I more or less know most of you reading this. (btw, thank you if you are) I more or less know where you live. What do you need protection from? An invisible boggy-man that someone in DC made up to scare you? Someone who has never been in your neighborhood? Someone who does not know you who has one purpose, themself.

How might you best protect your family, your loved ones? I don’t believe it is universally mandating one way for us to all live. And that one segment of us is evil. This is autocracy. And it feels a bit like, well if everyone live one way, then it releases us from having to do any of the work to ensure fairness and equality. Let’s just close the windows, put up the blinders and have nothing here that broadens any experience. Maybe you don’t have the time to discuss the differences or opposing opinions. Fine. What about your kid? Your grandkid? Bet they are, so let them drive the conversation and participate in it! Then you can be prepared to see the extreme in either direction. And be realistic about what extreme is. That scary, critical thinking thing.

Is your past clean enough to not be othered by someone? Jimenez a legal permanent resident, mother of four was detained at Boston Logan for 10 days because of a 20 year old charge that is no longer a crime. In college she had a small amount of marijuana on her. So not a rapist or a murderer. If we continue to turn our heads to this because, not me. Are you sure? Wondering what had to be done to find her and that 20 year old charge from when Jimenez was in college? And with the new supreme court ruling essentially allowing racial profiling, who is at risk? Every single one of us. Do you have loved ones that could be ‘seen’ as an “illegal”?

“The Fourth Amendment protects every individual’s

constitutional right to be “free from arbitrary interference

by law officers.” Brignoni-Ponce, 422 U. S., at 878.

After today, that may no longer be true for those who

happen to look a certain way, speak a certain way, and

appear to work a certain type of legitimate job that pays

very little. Because this is unconscionably irreconcilable

with our Nation’s constitutional guarantees, I dissent.”

~ Supreme Court Justice Sotomayor

I know it’s overwhelming, believe me! Please pay attention. Start locally. Spend your money locally, local shopping. What is the School board doing in your town? City Council, your State Representatives. Listen to what others are saying, listen to hear commonality. Listen to understand. There is a middle ground and it will not put your rights to believe what you believe or live the life you want to at risk. What is happening now, where we are headed, is a risk to all of us and not where I think we really want to be.

Years ago I had this idea and bought a URL. It was WAY before the current administration. I included a couple of friends, but we all 3 had real jobs and this idea or actually making anything of it was overwhelming. I’m retired now, maybe I should bring it back, thehouseofhypocrisy.com.

I have a few friends on Facebook.  There are many I have known since Kindergarten.  There were about 520 in my HS graduating class.  That’s about how many “friends” I have on FB.  Of course that’s not my class, it’s a mix of the last 60 + years.  A handful or so I have known since kindergarten.  So 60 years.

One of the kindergarten “friends” unfriended and blocked me about a year ago.  Why did she block me?  She was absolutely incensed  about the female boxer at the Olympics that people were accusing of being trans and posted something a bit unhinged about it.  The boxer who it had been reported, while not verified, that she was born with a unique genetic code due to Swyer Syndrome.  Resulting in having XY chromosomes.

While I don’t know exactly what my reply was, since she blocked me.  I reciprocated the action.  I can’t see her, she can’t see me.  Anyway, I said something like, what about someone on the other side of the planet, just trying to live their best life has any impact on you?  And I included a link  about the syndrome.  A couple of days later when I went back to check to see how much trouble I was in, I found out.  

A few weeks before that I had shared a video from Mother Jones of a woman talking an out DEI.  The video had clips of Fox new calling Kamala, bi-racial werewolf, hood ornament, DEI Hire.  The woman doing the video, did call those on Fax assholes, but. I’m not sure she actually listened to it.  I had the impression, like some, she already knew everything and didn’t need to listen to anyone that wasn’t going to aligns with her fears, I mean ideologies or beliefs. 

She replied to the post, “Not a racist and not a Kamala supporter. What happened to the notion of not calling people names and being nice to one another?” Just asking…”

Hypocrisy

What I wanted to say;

1 – yes you are a racist, so am I – I’m just working hard to be an anti-racist

2 – I know you’re not a Kamala fan because when she was running before she became the VP you were quick to inform me on a FB post that she had “slept” her way into a job 20 years ago.  Got it.  Jesus.

3 – what I did not say, but wanted to was, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?  You and YOUR “leader” call people names all the time.  And nice? That when out when the insecure, weak, racist, misogynistic, rapist descended that elevator and announced his run to destroy America.


What I said. There was no response to my reply.

Good question. I didn’t care for the name calling here either, bi-racial werewolf, hood ornament, DEI Hire, asshole. Maybe we can ask those in this video?

Our definition of things like mean vary for some reason. Like credibility, reliable, accountability. experience, justice, racism, judgement, morality, virtue, decency, respect, honor.

Even a word some might think insignificant can be received as disparaging and have a negative impact. They serve no purpose and say more about who delivers it than who receives it.

It’s not just name calling, it’s inference to someone’s being, character or well being. Instead of talking substance we go for the easy shot, the hit and run that often gets a laugh. And at what cost?

After living through my parents decline and dementia last year, when someone made some reference to the decline of either candidate, I thought, they must not have or had a loved one with dementia so does that make it okay to make fun, share a meme or a comment about them?

I think I posted here a very long time ago a similar question, asking had we all forgotten that old saying, if you can’t say something nice. And don’t we still teach kids that today? Cause at the time, I was seeing a lot of adults name calling.

The question for me here, as I heard someone say or ask yesterday. And why I shared this video is about DEI. Would we call a white employee a white supremacy hire? An employee with a disability, a disability hire? No.

We collectively have a lot of work to do in our anti-racist efforts. Because if we are white, we have a level of privilege whether we want to admit it or not. We will have racist ideas, thoughts and perceptions. Striving to be anti-racist is work, some are doing better than a few of the white men and Jeanine in this video.

Several weeks later I saw a reply on someone else’s FB post.  Because she had blocked me I could’t see what she had posted but someone replied and I could see her name.  The reply was, “they don’t hate you, they despise the lying old man you all worship.”.  I had also see her post somewhere that because she had a Journalism degree, she retired from Air Traffic Control, she could tell the difference between real and fake news.  Now consider this, if she does have a degree in Journalism that was awarded in 1983.  I wanted to ask, what kinds of tools or things was she taught  between 1979 and 1983 that now today, arm her with the proper “fake news” detector?  Must have advanced her education through YouTube or stayed the night at a Holiday Inn Express.

I keep writing about this, don’t post them all. So many times a day, out of his mouth is a reminder. The double standard. The hypocrisy. The absolute delusion of what he is doing and who he is doing it to and those people still supporting him.

Today while at The Museum of the Bible. Now, like everything else an opposite is made. Mean is nice, nice is mean. And they say we (I am) so hateful.

Antithetical….

I have for a while believed that, *this is who we are* as apposed to the, *this is not who we are*.

What is unexpected, alarming, hard for me to take in is the hate.  The vitriol and advantage that some have taken of the mask being stripped off … while wearing a mask.

It’s the little things.  Like the small 12” x 18” flag near my front door, “Hate Won’t Make Us Great” that I had to remove. My neighbor, “Mrs (DJT) Kravitz” inquired to the HOA, “how long can we leave a sign or posting up in our yards?” Or the angry “billionaires” that flip off or angrily yell at, depending on the weekend, 50 to 500 of us peacefully protesting in town out on HWY 101.  They have to be billionaires right?  It’s a small percentage of who drive by as we stand out there peacefully, but still.

And it’s the big things.  I try not to watch these videos but I watched a couple last night of ICE taking down individuals.  Four, five or six guys taking down one.  Two or three full on running someone down.  Literally taking them or knocking them down to the ground more aggressively than what you’ll see on Monday night football. Four, five or six masked guys tackling one guy who is half the size of one of them.  In one the person recording the video was asking, surprisingly calmly, who are you?  What are you doing?  Where are you from?  Do you have a badge?  Over and over.  No response. Except an occasional FU. But he kept asking, who are you?  At one point the person said, “you’re ruining our country”.  One of the masked unfortunates said, “liberals already did that”.  Ah. Revenge is powerful isn’t it?

So partial answer to the question as to how can people do this to other people?  They have been conditioned lead to believe that one subset of people have done them wrong.  They now get to go after “them”!  The “they”, the ones who have done them wrong!  “They” have taken something that they believed that they deserved.  Deserved just because they were a certain subset of people.  In this case, white male.  Slightly overweight fragile white male I’ll add.  With no requirements or qualifications required, probably with a criminal record and more dangerous than the poor soul they just smashed to the ground.  Or the video of the white deplorable shooting the Black marine in a wheelchair in Seattle.  

These crush me.

We are now in the throws(literally) of destruction from ill informed, unqualified, dangerous, mediocre white men and women.  Mostly men. Who otherwise would not have been hired, not because of DEI, but because they just fucking aren’t qualified, period! Sorry men, I do know several white men who are not mediocre, unfortunately they are not in positions that matter.  Positions that can and will have an impact on your life, my life and the lives of those we love and care about.  For those who love and care more about the safety of their loved ones more than who they voted for.

It is the anger that I cannot comprehend.  It is the anger that is motivation that I cannot take in or understand.  It is also what feeds that anger that I cannot comprehend.  And how some believe it lock, stock and barrel and others see the lie a mile a way.  

It seems to me that the abuse, the physical abuse that we are seeing today, has escalated to an unsettling, startling level, to say the least. That the few that have been surreptitiously, maybe illegally hire and  mostly unqualified have been given the power to do what I think many of us believed is racist, criminal and illegal.  Physical actions, arrests toward Black and Brown people for no reason with no due process done by men with hoods to cover their identity. They fear a lot don’t they?

This has now been unleashed to include, well people.  I am not saying that white supremacy hasn’t been while maybe hidden a bit, alive and well. With this new “ICE” they have license to take anyone down individually or within a group.  And white supremacy certainly has a sickening new acceptance among some.  Seriously, these men come from out of nowhere.   Doesn’t it seem random?  They have been given permission to put their anger into action, their resentment onto their perceived enemy, cover up their weakness with this payback.  Payback for what?  The manufactured fabricated world created by ONE that no ONE stopped.  NO one!

Dissent is a crime. Descent has been abandoned.

“the thing that Trump realized was that there were all of these white people who wanted to be “free of the requirements of decency.”  

~Sherrilyn Ifill

Several years ago, late 1990’s, I was siting on a white sandy beach in Sarasota Florida with a few colleagues.  Colleagues might be a bit of a stretch, we didn’t work for the same school, but we all did the same thing all across the country and had formed friendships and partnerships in an effort to help high school students find the best educational environment.  We all offered a four year bachelor’s degree in fine art.  Each school while offering very often the same thing, Painting, Photography, Design, Illustration, sculpture, ceramics, etc.  Some schools had different focus in those areas. One school was best for automotive design, one was best for medical illustration, one for photography, ceramics, one was better for something like Disney.

As we sat there in-between meetings to chart out the next year of recruitment across the country, the topic of those two simple words came up, thank you.  I had been thinking about writing a book about ‘thank you’ and mentioned that.  Beth from Maine, her eye’s lit up, that’s a great idea!  That was encouraging, I held her in high regard. And because more than once I’ve thought about writing a book.  

Today I started thinking about the two words, I’m sorry.  Maybe it’s just me, but have you ever noticed how people apologize for things that are out of their control or shouldn’t have to apologize for?  But often the apology that really is needed, needed to be heard or should be said, rarely happens?  

Four words, that just seem so simple to me.  It may be my imagination, but I’ve felt that since that conversation and a bit before it, I have said thank you more than some.  Maybe more than most?  Maybe not?  But if feels that way.  Because it’s simple and it costs me nothing.  It doesn’t have to be because someone pulled me out of the way of an accident, thank you. Or made some kind of grand gesture, two words for a simple gesture is good too, thank you. Moving their cart and themselves out of the middle of an aisle in a store so others can get past, thank you.  Gesturing for you to go ahead, thank you. Someone picking up a piece of trash on the sidewalk in your town, thank you. 

I’m sorry. Being in the way of someone getting down the aisle in a store, I’m sorry.  Dropping trash on the sidewalk in your town, I’m sorry. Believing someone’s story, not discounting them or their story. Believing them and if a bad story, maybe just say, I’m sorry.

But what I hear most often is an I’m sorry for something that the person saying it has no control over.  But they are saying it because maybe they think someone will complain. Think they are weak. Or not believe their story. Probably because they may not even believe it them selves.  Like they have done this thing on purpose and now need to apologize. We should stop apologizing for, number one; crying when talking about someone dying. Or the injustice of a love one as victim and even criminal.

This may be a repeat, but I had been thinking for a while, that old saying about walking in another shoes, just wasn’t ‘fitting’ right with me. It wasn’t making sense. How could I truly know another experience. I didn’t know enough of their history to know what in their life could impact a situation and how they would respond or react to it. Then I heard Brene Brown talking to “O”;

“So the idea of walking in someone else’s shoes and trying to understand what they are feeling has no merit. The call is much more difficult and powerful and that is, to ask the person for their story for what it is like in their shoes and to believe them – not about guessing what they are feeling – – why do we think we have to walk in other people shoes? The hard part is the believing part. Because it either challenges what I want to be true about the world or challenges my idea that there is one experience of the world. Or it makes me accountable in some way that makes me uncomfortable.”

We will forever have problems with believing someone’s story, some will never be okay with the vulnerability of uncomfortable.

I watch weird television.  Mostly because I can’t bring myself to listen to what people say about others, or see what we are doing to others so I watch crime shows and have been a bit in a rabbit hole lately of a show on youtube where this couple go around Oregon, mostly Portland, buy abandoned storage units and then sell that either in live auction or your typical for sale sites.  And crime shows and people talking about the crime or injustice that has happened to them or a love one. They get emotional, cry and apologize.  The two on Youtube apologize because the HVAC in the storage facility is noisy and it might impact the audio.  They apologize to people who complain in the comments about how they run their business, or how they think they run their business.  Or how they interact with each other. If you watch and pay attention, it seems they are having fun, rib each other and those complaining or saying things are the ones with the issues. Razz each other all you want! As long as they treat me the buying customer well, that’s all I care about.  And I would bet the fee to buy one of those units that they do that ten fold.

People who apologize for crying because their loved one was brutally murdered or their loved one was wrongfully accused of a crime, evidence to prove it and they are still either being prosecuted or incarcerated 5, 10, 20 or 30 years.  Or they did in fact commit a crime. Unless you are the one who did the crime, don’t apologize for them. You have nothing to apologize for unless you drove them to the crime, then that’s a different story.

Why are we not apologizing for the things that actually we should be apologizing for?  The things that we have done that will impact others? Things that we have done that could have been avoided or represent such a narrow concept or ideology that it impacts others negatively.

Well, I guess we would have to have awareness to a certain degree that we even know that we have done or said something that is worthy of, I’m sorry.  

I have a friend who will randomly post on Facebook, “I love you”. A few years ago, 2017 I posted on;

So much was happening that was adversely impacting others that I was at a loss as to what I could or should do.  I couldn’t apologize for the masses. Much of what was happening was out of my control, completely. Same as today, but I can still say both as often as I can. Maybe someone or one person saw that I’m sorry that day and needed to see it.  Even to say I’m sorry to themselves for something. Maybe we should all do that from time to time.

I’m sorry.

Thank you.

Descending the escalator June 15, 2016 it began. Interesting choice to descend rather than ascend.  

D – To move from a higher to a lower place; come or go down.

A – To go or move upward; rise.

Permission was given to move to a lower place, down to a dangerous descent revealing our true selves word by demeaning word, lie by lie to where we are today.  Dare I say, an indoctrination? 

Decency be damned, don’t tread on me. I see no harm in balance, equality, fairness. Bring back decency. 

We all have work to do.

A place that some of us sensed, some of us knew, many dreaded, others celebrated.  Celebrated because they could now finally fully exhibit their true selves.  Their fears and those feelings that they had kept to themselves until that permission was granted.

Decency doesn’t negate what one might think it does. It is not necessary to be safe or comfortable.  You can still believe that people certain people should be deported, criminals.  You can believe that your religion is the only religion, it is not.  You can believe that everyone should do as you do, they should not. Decency is the part that stops you from acting on any of those beliefs that directly adversely impact another human minus justice and no legal, legitimate reason.

If properly maintained and balanced, justice will not let any of these fears you hold adversely impact you.  However, actions based on those fears and lies absent of legitimacy, deport innocent people, kill or try to kill those in opposition, creating laws or policies as target with disregard to laws or justice by dehumanizing already disenfranchised individuals who are doing their best to create a good and safe life for themselves and their family.  Lives that essentially have had no adverse impact on you or me. Yet some have been convinced otherwise because of weakness, insecurity and a desperate attempt of one very insecure person.

A good and safe life, just like the one that you hope for that for the most part before a few years ago had no real risk of being extinguished.  Yet you took the word of someone with little knowledge of the human condition or spirit validate your fears.  Validating them with unfounded, false stories that have no foundation of truth but are based in hateful vindication. 

Decency is the state or quality of being decent.  Behavior that is good, moral and acceptable in any society. When you want someone to be decent towards you, what does that mean?  How or what do they say or not say?  What has being decent done for you?  What has the opposite done for you?  

The deeper we go the less I understand.  I wish that my Mom and her clear mind of about 2005 or so was here so I could ask her what is it she thinks feeds the extremism.  

My head spins and I get that feeling in or near my heart that sometimes makes it way up to my throat, then out of my eyes.

It feels like an arrogance to a degree that is consequential, indescribable and void of description or definition.

In high school I think my Mom worried that I was on a path to extreme fundamental ideology.  I wasn’t.  But I guess it could have happened.  I soon recognized in myself what I was not comfortable with.  It was the extreme, the judgement of others that I had no right to judge and the arrogance that I thought it was my place to judge. That somehow because I was faithful, went to church, bible study or void of ‘sins’ that I was somehow superior and entitled to that judgement.  I was not.  That question ‘why’ was to prominent in my head and I asked it often.  Something my Mom loved and it drove her crazy.  I guess it’s one thing to have a child ask why over and over again, but a 20 year old?  

And as I have realized in the last 10 years or so of required daily medication, I have absolutely no addictive qualities or tendencies.  So a cultish space I would not be. That belief that it just takes three weeks, 21 days to create a habit, yeah nope.  Not me. Lack of motivation and what I’ve always considered an abstract brain, to maintain a single train of thought, single or otherwise, an attention span, interests, curiosity, grief, contentment, introversion, solitude, too much time to think?  Or maybe my aversion to redundancy is so deep seeded, that even remember to take a pill every morning for my health, even after 2 alarms, I’ll still not take it.

When I settle in and decided to go back to school in 1986 the liberal arts aspect of Kansas City Art Institute introduced me to more literature that I had been exposed to, Although I knew of most of it, I hadn’t read much of it yet.  It provided me with classes in Western Thought, Eastern Thought, Jungian Thought and Philosophy of Religion. Philosophy.

When I think about this word conform it is opposite, diametrically opposed to and counter to anything I know or understand.  I strive daily to bring my privileged existence to this world humbly with the values instilled in me by my parents and the Minister I listened to every Sunday for nearly 18 years. This statement does not fit into what I was taught.

And today, does not fit into how we should be as a nation.  We have no right, would, should never have that right. As just one of a few billion unique people in the world, I see no one in this world who has the right to say this let alone someone with potential platform to put it into action. This is limiting and restrictive in a way that leaves no room for respect, love and compassion.  Not to mention a level of arrogance that the Bible speaks against.  Opposition to pride, grace to the humble.

So many years ago I was sitting in a class.  It was a class that studied what some would say is not a religion, but a philosophy or text that an underlying premise is the act of simply gaining a full “awareness of love’s presence”, that teaches forgiveness, love and peace through it’s principles.

Nothing real can be threatened. 

Nothing unreal exists.
Herein lies the peace of God.

In that small class the topic of fear came up.  I had thought about it a lot.  Noodled it around in my heart, head and said, that I don’t have fear in my life.  I can’t say I truly knew the others in the class yet, the class was new, but boy did I get crazy looks!  What??  No fear?  I was an anomaly, a weird one. Seriously? Yes, seriously.

Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.
Herein lies the peace of God.

Still today, fear for me is in check.  It’s not in my DNA, never debilitating or creating any type of anxiety that impacts me living.  Mostly it is fear for others. Fear for what they fear.  Fear for what is in their world to harm them.  Real and manufactured baseless fear.  Fear of justice denied or unbalanced justice.

Is it this lack of fear that has me where I am socially, politically, spiritually, physiologically?  Is it what keeps me clear about what is happening, that nothing real can be threatened?

Emotionally, I am a wreck.  Today, June 12, 2025 I had the TV on a few times, read a few posts on Substack and crying each time had to walk away.

License has been given to cruelty, abuse of power, abuse of the law by the will of so few.  Those few have manufactured a world of fear for some that does not exist.  Thanks to press and media, they manufactured this for us.  A reality show was more important than reality. Where we are today because it was more important to get the rating than to work within a level of justice, democracy and a true rule of law.  All three of those seem to be slipping away from us and some believe this will get us, I’m not sure where, but it will not be the world they imagined or even dreamed.  

There will be no line in the sand for some to stand on the other side of.  The us vs them will be a bastardized version of destruction and the demise of while not perfect a world we will never have again.  It will be gone if this regime is not checked and true democracy and rule of law are brought back into favor.

I don’t think there is.  We are in a slow and on some days an escalating freewill into a place, regardless of beliefs or any agenda, that a majority never wanted or hoped for.  A very small number of people have somehow silenced and concerned the majority. 

The end of 2022 MAGA was around 15%. *He claimed in 2024 it was 75%.  Nope. At the time only 24% of Americans had a favorable view of MAGA.

I’m not torn in anyway about how I feel about any of this. Every single bit of it, what *he is doing is unconscionable.  Anyone who supports *him, doesn’t speak out against what *he is doing is equally unconscionable. 

A while back someone posted, how you treat those who voted differently than you says a lot about your character.  Now that can be read two ways. How you treat me because I voted for the felon or how you treat me because I voted for a qualified black woman. Who you voted for speaks to and tells me your character and more.  That one of a few things is possible or true;

• You’re a die hard hold your nose and vote republican.  
• You are a one issue voter and vote for just that issue nothing else.
• You vote based on the headline, not the full issue.
• You DO NOT pay attention or care too. You’re too busy.
• You think, I’m not part of that, it won’t happen to me. (heh)
• You only listen to one news channel.
• You’re just mean, angry and have no capacity to care about anyone.
• You don’t read.
• You’re a racist.
  
  

• • You’re a billionaire and want a good tax break, damn the rest of them.

Don’t think I know any billionaires.

I think I did this before I started reading A Course in Miracles back in the 90’s.

Was it or is it because competition hasn’t ever been something that drove me or I felt necessary in my life.  I didn’t need to be better or best.  I just needed to be.  So sports was out.  I had some skill, but maybe not enough to compensate for my lack of completive nature to WIN.  What did winning mean anyway?

ACIM ~ Lesson 153 “in my defenselessness my safety lies.”  

That lack of the need for competition carried over into relationships.  I didn’t need to be right.  I didn’t need to be in charge.  I didn’t need to be the leader.  I just needed to be.  I’m sure my introversion impacted this as well, but it was who I was.

I didn’t need a lot of friends.  And certainly too much ‘peopling” was always a challenge.  Even before that was ever spoken or used to describe too much interaction with others.

This week the situation at hand has odd familiarity.  It feels the same internally, that while not exactly, similar.  I am the defendant and only the prosecution gets a voice.  There is only one side to this story.  This story, only one side is given light and attention.  Guilty.  

A quick check in.  This is nothing legal or legally actionable.  Just life.  Don’t want anyone to think otherwise. 

I will admit, that this time, while I won’t say I defended myself, I did stand up for myself.  More than I ever have.  So a different kind of defense.  

What was unspoken was not just me here, as it normally would be.  The unspoken of the other party was for me spoken in the acceptance of the counter.

If you know me or have been in certain situations with me or maybe read something here or there, you might have heard me speak of the solar plexus in relation to chakras.  I was told several years ago by a someone that I take information in through my solar plexus.  She said, good news is, you know what people are thinking and feeling.  Bad news is, you know what people are thinking and feeling.



Daily I work to use this to an advantage or a benefit and certainly not a weapon.