4212 Olive

I have for a while had this one line, among many running through my head. I’m not a wisher or wish for things, I do hope for some things. Unity, peace, decency, kindness, equity, reason, equal justice for all.

That one line, I wish for a less litigious president. 

I guess it’s a wish because who am I to want a specific kind of person in that position? Well, actually there is a constitution that allows me several wants that can be and are more than wishes. 

AMENDMENT	RIGHTS PROTECTED
1st	Freedom of religion, speech, press, assembly, and petition
2nd	Right to bear arms
3rd	Protection from quartering soldiers
4th	Protection against unreasonable searches and seizures
5th	Rights related to legal proceedings, including due process
6th	Right to a speedy and public trial, and to counsel
7th	Right to a jury trial in civil cases
8th	Protection against excessive bail and cruel punishment
9th	Recognition that rights not specifically listed are still protected
10th	Powers not delegated to the federal government are reserved to the states or the people

There are more, but let’s go with those. 

Civil liberties protect individuals from government actions that infringe upon fundamental rights. These include:

• Freedom of speech and expression
• Freedom of religion
• Right to privacy
• Right to due process
• Right to a fair trial

If you are paying any attention to what has been happening in American over the last year or so, you should know that the 1st, 2nd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 10th, 14th, 15th, and the 19th have been thrown out in an effort to slow the browning of America.

14th	Citizenship rights, equal protection, and due process
15th	Right to vote regardless of race
19th	Women’s right to vote

This attempt to rid the US of murderers and rapists, was a smoke screen. I hope that like me, with crimes of that nature, that you would believe that law enforcement, even border enforcement is taking care of those criminals. Right?  Well, no.  Minneapolis has been invaded by US Citizens who are terrorizing US Citizens and for the false claim of detaining and deporting the worst of the worst.  Besides the fact the Minnesota isn’t a border state, they have less immigrants than just about any other state. Like Texas that actually has a border where those murders and rapists are crossing.

Under the false claim of undocumented criminals, US Citizens have been killed, detained and sent to other cities. Minus their constitutional right of #1, #4, #5, $6, #7, #8 and #14. Maybe more, but that’s what I see.

While they do that, a new bill will limit voter rights and access to vote mostly for women.  The SAVE Act is mislabeled.  It will save nothing, but an attempt to limit who votes and get only votes for the right. What I am curious about or thinking, the requirements that this new “act” puts into place to be able to vote feels like it will not only suppress the Black vote, but also the MAGA vote. 

And. And, there is NO RIGHT vote.  There is your vote and my vote.  to say that there is a “RIGHT” vote is racist, bigotry, dangerous and WRONG.

Years ago a friend posted on FB that she hoped everyone voted the right way. Made me mad at the time, still annoyed.  She is now a trumper, so regardless of when, that conversation would probably have been futile.

When it comes to voting, what is right? Feels like to me, what is right is who will take their oath seriously and uphold the constitution and the rule of law. All of that has gone out the window with whatever else was thrown out of the White House window last year. 

I believe in the constitution and the rule of law.  I believe in accountability, ethical and moral responsibility. Right now none of that is happening. The once respected and admired highest office in the land now has a vast stain that stretches outside our borders. An embarrassing time that the rest of the world says, while they know deep down we are good people, we still voted for him … again. I didn’t you may not have either. Right now that doesn’t matter. He was elected. 

So that wish.  A less litigious president who upheld the constitution, ran the country fairly and divested of all their ability to line their pockets while in office. Who had a level of security and confidence that allowed them to take it with less dishing it out. Oh and not sue me and you and everyone else for $10 Billion dollars because their feelings were hurt.

Sorry, tried to not be petty.  But considering, I think on a grand scale, of petty, I’m okay. 

Posted by jennifer

After a conviction for an uncomfortable charge like sexual abuse, not that most aren’t uncomfortable, most people are repelled. Some will even go as far as to say the individual should get the death penalty. Or at the very least a life sentence. I’ve even heard, use them as test subjects for whatever, drugs, foods, etc.

This like all other crimes there are levels. This is not to say that the lesser or lower level crime shouldn’t still be prosecuted. If due process, evidence, and reasonable doubt a guilty verdict is determined, sentencing. But to what degree? What are minimum and max for the crime. Did the trial tell the “whole” story?

I’ve shared this quote a few times. It keeps repeating. “The danger of a single story, I’ve always felt that it is impossible to engage properly with a place or a person without engaging with all of the stories of that place, and that person. The consequence of the single story is this, it robs people of dignity it makes our recognition of humanity difficult.” ~Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

I believe that our prisons are overcrowded. Some are making a lot of money off of prisons. Is that okay? Not if the incarcerated are treated like animals. Why, because we haven’t or don’t have the time to engage with all of the story. We just use the window of the crime. Granted, that can be a lifetime. It can also be less. There often is Inadequate defense. The case is tried in media or public before the evidence is revealed. Guilty before proven innocent.

I would say, put yourself in their shoes. But I haven’t believed that for a very long time. Just didn’t know how to put it into words. With the recent evolution of Brené Brown I got some help. “So the idea of walking in someone else’s shoes and trying to understand what they are feeling has no merit. The call is much more difficult and powerful and that is, to ask the person for their story for what it is like in their shoes and to believe them – not about guessing what they are feeling – – why do we think we have to walk in other people shoes?  The hard part is the believing part. Because it either challenges what I want to be true about the world or challenges my idea that there is one experience of the world. Or it makes me accountable in some way that makes me uncomfortable.”

For family it is a fine line to know how to move forward. What kind of support do you offer or even maintain? I guess that depends on the whole story. For a friend, what kind of friend? How close, what story do you know? Is it more of an acquaintance than a friend. How and who brought them into your world? Does it seem glamorous or exciting because of the extended circle or even wealth? 

For family. I guess one would have to, “ask the person for their story for what it is like in their shoes and to believe them”.  The same for the family that supports the individual you might think should be put to death.

When something comes too close, you have two choices. Support, don’t support. I chose support. Even though in all honesty, I do not understand and because of the timeline I have not been able to “ask the person for their story for what it is like in their shoes and to believe them”.

This for me is where there is no question where the line is. It is drawn and set with no question. 

Posted by jennifer

I have this weird thing, that others of you may have as well.  From experience, mine tends to freak me out because of accuracy or reality or what ever you want to call it. That said, what could a ‘gut’ know? Mine more than I care for it to most days.

Bondi was asked questions today. I typically or normally can’t watch things like this. Sometimes I make it through because of closed captions. I’ve never been able to stomach the humiliation of another. Even if that person deserves some of it. I also can’t stomach disrespect, self righteous indignation, moral superiority, especially when it feels that all of those characteristics are missing in someone.

What little bit I was able to take in, I had thoughts. Her deflection and defensiveness is telling. But what do I know. So I type into the search bar, “when confronted with a lie how does a guilty person usually respond”

On top from Legalknowledgebase(dot)com

How do guilty people react when confronted?

A guilty person may avoid answering direct questions, refuse to provide information that could be used against them, or simply disappear altogether. Another telltale sign is that a guilty person may tend to lie or provide false explanations for their behavior.

How does a cheater react when confronted?

Anger and Aggression: In some cases, they may react with anger, becoming hostile or aggressive. This could be an attempt to deflect attention from their wrongdoing. Minimization: Your partner might downplay the matter of the cheating, suggesting it was a one-time mistake or that their cheating doesn’t mean anything.

Do guilty people get mad when accused?

In another experiment, the researchers presented someone accused of robbery and assault, and found that, again, angry reactions were associated with guilt.

Why do liars get angry when confronted?

They get defensive.

They’re trying to make you feel guilty so that you’ll drop the subject. Most of the time, they will be very angry about it and will start to raise their voice. If someone is getting defensive, it’s a sign that they might be hiding something from you.

In fairness, at the bottom of page one, an article from the British Psychological Society titled, “We think anger is a sign of guilt, but it may actually be a better sign of innocence”. The article does close with, “However, it’s true that people who reacted with irritation were taken to be guiltier than those who responded calmly. So until more work is done in this area, it seems worth at least trying not to use someone’s anger level in response to an accusation as a sign of guilt.”

Is it a crime to lie to congress? Yes. Now I’m no fan, but ask James Comey. While the list is probably longer than the one I found with five (5) on it where prosecution was attempted, not much happens. So, basically it is acceptable to lie to congress. Although Haldeman served 18 months and Mitchell 19. Matusow served 44 months of a 25 year sentence. Michael Cohen, sentenced to 3, served 3.

There is a lesson in A Course In Miracles, #153. “In my defenselessness my safety lies.”

4. Defenses are the costliest of all the prices which the ego would exact. ²In them lies madness in a form so grim that hope of sanity seems but to be an idle dream, beyond the possible. ³The sense of threat the world encourages is so much deeper, and so far beyond the frenzy and intensity of which you can conceive, that you have no idea of all the devastation it has wrought. (ACIM, W-153.4:1-3)

6.⁴Defenselessness can never be attacked, because it recognizes strength so great attack is folly, or a silly game a tired child might play, when he becomes too sleepy to remember what he wants. (ACIM, W-153.6:3-4)

Pam Bondi is guilty. As a woman, I hope she finds a way to live with what she has done to the survivors.

Posted by jennifer

For quite some time because of “friends” on FB who I grew up with, choir, VBS, ‘sat in the balcony’ with who fully (still) support this regime, how?  Was I not listening? Were they not listening? 

I grew up in the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) and with parents who I know now were very independent thinkers. In my Senior year in high school, also being very involved in Fellowship of Christian Athletes, I questioned what I felt was a wishy washy approach to religion in that church. But my Mom, who studied and was a Theologian, who was the first person I heard the word inclusion from. In the late 80’s she worked with the region to make these churches Open and Affirming. She knew how to check me and keep me off the radical fundy train.

A break from college after high school, I went back and was able to discover and study world religions. I knew I was on this path early, but as a chronic late bloomer became a Buddhist in 2017.

Even with that, the values I still hold and believe I learned from that church and my Mom, I was listening.  My “friends” weren’t. Because nothing they support has any connection or even a hint of symbolism to the teachings delivered, Sunday, Sunday night, Camp and summer VBS. Even one who is now Catholic with two gay sons who she loves and adores. Hard to understand. A couple others have issues with Trans people. One after an enraged post about the Olympic boxer last year, I asked, how someone living their best life, someone they do not know is such a threat?  They unfriended and blocked me. 

So I say thanks Mom & Dad and Merle. Merle was the minister at that church my entire childhood, until about my senior year in high school. 

Posted by jennifer

What is this grief? A grief I’m not sure it’s origin because it happens when I see things that while happening, aren’t happening directly to me. 

I haven’t been pulled out of my car, zip tied, thrown into a van and driven to a center filled with others who were also pulled out of, going about normal every day tasks. My sister or friend were not shot and killed. Then with no investigation,   

“…without engaging with all of the stories of that place, and that person the consequence of the single story is this it robs people of dignity it makes our recognition of humanity difficult.”  (~Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie)

I hear songs or watch someone sing a song I’ve heard a hundred times, and this time I see them sing the words and see them in a place maybe they had hoped to hide.

I read the words written by one I don’t know and maybe for a second time, an emotion comes from familiar and unfamiliar places. Sometimes I don’t know what to do with either. Or the second time the words settle in a different place entirely.

I listen to the words of another talk about grief. “Why did no one tell us that to die is to be reincarnated in those we love while they are still alive.” (~Andrea Gibson) Not being able to imagine any other way through it, put to open it up. Again and again. To not shut off the channel to joy. Yet both are needed, you can’t have one without the other.

What is it that I am mourning this far past actual loss? 

The page to the left on the screen distracts me. I click and see a friend post, “My mama passed 23 yrs ago today. Miss her daily.”

Below that the string of response and reaction to a missing Mom, 84 year old Nancy Guthrie. So strange, heartbreaking and sad. The latest words from a broken insecure man who is lost, weak, in the only way he knows to prop himself up takes everyone down. Down with disparaging words that cut deep. Words that echo in his head from childhood. Knowing no other way to make himself known, he is literally the classroom bully and the bull in our china closet. So sad.

When differences become personal, rather than a curiosity or exploration of imagination for the greater good, they become small weapons that do the most harm.

Then, probably the only Olympic coverage I’ll watch or see. A short clip from the opening ceremony and the words of Nelson Mandela read by Charlize Theron;

“Peace is not just the absence of conflict; peace is the creation of an environment where all can flourish regardless of race, color, creed, religion, gender, class, caste or any other social markers of difference.”

Be kind to yourself. Be kind to your neighbor. Peace

Grief is not a problem it’s something you live with. E. A. Hanks

Posted by jennifer

After Charlie Kirk was murdered I posted on FB;

Since then I’ve learned more about him. What I heard I believe was divisive and destructive. Now with his widow at the reins the racism and division he was creating will continue. Have I changed my mind about what I said when he was murdered?

He built on the fears of insecurity that we all know now has one outcome, hate. Why do I say that? Because of what he said and his views on humanity. He brought it all on himself while he was out creating and making domestic terrorist across the country with his messages.

“If I see a Black pilot, I’m going to be like, boy, I hope he’s qualified.”

“If I’m dealing with somebody in customer service who’s a moronic Black woman, I wonder is she there because of her excellence, or is she there because of affirmative action?”

“Joy Reid and Michelle Obama and Sheila Jackson Lee and Ketanji Brown Jackson were affirmative action picks…
You do not have the brain processing power to otherwise be taken really seriously. You had to go steal a white person’s slot to go be taken somewhat seriously.”

“I think it’s worth it to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the second amendment to protect our other God-given rights. That is a prudent deal. It is rational.”

Have I changed my mind? No. Why? Because I’m not a seething damaged monster propping up another damaged monster.

Did I just write that above?  Yes. It was reaction to Kelly. And even a reaction to the things that Kirk said to thousands of kids today in his tours. Both through their fear and insecurity. Breathing an empty self righteous message that has no reality. It is an agenda that is a cruel and egregious self promotion. In the throws of the tragedy of another human.

I am not naive to the reality of humanity in all that shines and all that is dim. Even for those who say or do the most egregious things like Kelly. One thing that I carried from my days in the church, this is not an appropriate message or behavior. I might decide to speak out against an injustice. Strike that. I will speak out against injustice. It is my right.  And while I am not a lawyer, those injustices where lawlessness that has replace the law. All at the direction of a government tell us they are the ‘law and order’ administration. The “laws for thee and not for me” administration.

As offensive and destructive as I believe most of what Kirk said, he also had his right to say it. And I have a right to speak out against it. Because even to date, neither of us ever said or did anything unconstitutional or illegal. As much as I would like for what they said to be legally actionable, it was not.

Megan Kelly is offensive and destructive.  She also has the right to say what she says, even as indefensible as it is, and to her advantage a very large financialy lucrative platform. One that gives her the right to say things like, “shut up and dribble”, “shut up and sing”. And fully display that she has no compassion. I don’t remember what she said about Ashley Babbitt.  Doesn’t matter. 

Tell me that of all the division created that has separated us, broken families and communities in this world in the last 10 years, that this is not the most disgustingly hypocritical of them all. To disparage someone, anyone after their murder. And place yourself in a position to be the judge and jury of those who exercise their constitutional rights that are constitutional, just different from yours. Again, that difference is in her bank account. Somehow that feels like it should somehow be illegal. Certainly reprehensible.

Please tell me that.

Posted by jennifer

I called myself a Christian growing up. I guess. I went to church, Sunday morning, Sunday night and Wednesday.  In High school I remember my best friend Steve asking me in the hall one day, are you going to the new FCA meeting.  Yes I was!  That was Freshman year.  My heavy involvement lasted until my first year in college at CMSU.  Then things started to shift.  I realized that some were using their religion or Christianity as a crutch or an easy out to life. Not as honor or truth but now that I think back almost as a weapon against someone they either didn’t like or didn’t want to have to be closer to than they were.

I wasn’t going to add this, but decided to go ahead. I’m not sure these are the exact moments that started my shift, but they are two things that are still with me. I also don’t remember the order in which they happened. The first story, might be the first.

My freshman year in college, again I was very involved with Fellowship of Christian Athletes. I realize now I was edging into fundamentalism. I had no intention of doing anything but classes and FCA. As was my roommate who was a sophomore and the sister of my favorite teacher from Junior High. It was a good match and the person who I had intended to room with had decided to either not go to CMSU or wait.

I had no intention or interest in sorority. My friend and neighborhood friend who was also somewhat involved in FCA in High School was in a sorority and asked me to go through RUSH just to see. I said, okay. This experience did change my mind set for the right reasons. After a long talk with my Mom, I pledged. I didn’t go active, but they actually helped me later with classes and study. I was not ready for college.

Yes there are parties. There are events with alcohol. The sorority I joined was also the one who maintained the highest GPA of Panhellenic. This was helpful for me. But like most who either don’t explore or take at face value what ‘they hear’ about something, the experience of asking someone I was interested in from high school who was also an FCA member to the Christmas party. I don’t recall exactly what his answer was. I heard later the he told someone that he worried it would damage his “witness” to go to a sorority party. Huh, okay. So going to a party and being who you are, not drinking or having a good time maybe not drinking, how does that damage your witness? It doesn’t. It is a judgement of others that I realized I was also guilty of. Even saying at an FCA meeting in high school and ‘praying’ for my neighborhood friend who I had heard was “partying” a lot in college.

I left CMSU after that first year. I didn’t have to but my grades were in the tank and I thought it would take too much to bring them back up. After the summer I got a job in a factory and went to community college in an effort to bring my GPA back up. I did and went back to CMSU. Less involved in FCA. And after another year, now knowing what I wanted to do, I left CMSU again.

It was after that I believe I was hanging out with a couple of friends from high school at the neighborhood pizza joint. We decided to call our favorite teacher. This person was also a member of the church I grew up in. We thought we’d meet up. She had just returned from a trip and was tired. All good! But then a few minutes later over the PA in the restaurant we heard, Leigh you have a phone call up front. This was long before cell phones, we had called her on a payphone. Yes she was exhausted, but she couldn’t pass up seeing the 3 or 4 of us all together. We loaded up in the car and headed to her house.

I believe now she sensed a change in me. She reminded me about the time after saying I missed seeing her in church. I don’t remember what she said but obviously at the time it wasn’t good enough for me because my response was something along the lines of, well I hope that the day you need him(God) he’s not to tired or too busy or whatever I said. I think, or hope I apologized? I do think I lowered my head a bit, not in shame but a bit of embarrassment. Who am I to pass judgement? Not what I had read in that bible, but here I was. So maybe reflection started then. I also while not going active with the sorority, I did continue to participate in the events and parties. And yes I drank. I didn’t and have never had a problem with alcohol, moderation was my path. But I did drink. Wonder if I might not have if that “witness” back in 1979 was to go to a party with someone I was interested in and not drink? Honestly, pretty sure he just didn’t want to go with ‘me’. That’s fine.

There is barely a day that goes by that I’m not thinking about my foundation or a foundation for character, morality, ethics and wrapping all of that in decency. I also think about those in my world while growing up who are either silent or post here or there things that lean toward still supporting the current president and this administration. Even as they tore families apart and moved forward with policies and attitude lacking decency and morality. Taking innocent people in for no reason and now killing peaceful protestors on the streets exercising their constitutional rights. 

And for what?  

Abortion? Anti-vax? Irony. My body my choice when it fits my ideology. 2nd Amendment, good for me not for thee. Law Enforcement?  What is happening right now is not law enforcement or immigration enforcement.  They are not working with anyone to capture and deport rapists and murderers.  They are murdering and detaining innocent people to cover a corrupt and lawless administration.

Again, for what?

None of what is happening or has happened for a long time fits into any definition of morality, character, ethics or decency that I was taught or thought was the foundation of Christianity. 

There is an arm or section of Christianity that is running scared and fear the false narrative that has been carefully and successfully crafted just for them. And they are fully on board. I do not know 99.999% of those people, but I would venture a wild guess that none of them have the resources to fully survive where we are now economically. The damage will be done. Lack of insurance or income will cause early unnecessary death and poverty. Yet they hold strong and their steadfast loyalty or commitment does not fail.

And for what?

Posted by jennifer

From time to time you hear or I’ve heard the use of ‘a red line’ or ‘line in the sand’. The line where acceptable is now unacceptable.

In the movie Regarding Henry with Harrison Ford and Annette Benning, Henry is a lawyer who survives a shooting only to find he can’t remember anything — he also has to recover his speech and mobility, in a life he no longer fits into. When he finally goes back to work his secretary brings him coffee and pours cream. He watches. She stops just before it overflows.  “When you’ve had enough Mr Turner you say, when.”

When

So where was or is your red line, your when? The authoritarian talk, conspiracies, racial tendencies, misleading statements, lies?

Adultery

“grab’m by the pussy”

Telling Howard Stern the ‘acceptable’ age for him to date or that he’d date his daughter if not his daughter,

2016, Rally: “Knock the crap out of” protesters; “I’ll pay legal fees.”
2016, Debate: Called Hillary Clinton a “nasty woman.”
2016, Speech: Suggested “Second Amendment people” could stop Clinton.

2017, Rally: Praised body-slamming a reporter as “my kind of guy.”

2017, Rally: Mocked disabled reporter’s physical mannerisms.

2018, Interview: Mocked a sexual assault survivor as “not credible.”
2018, Interview: Proposed border moats with snakes or alligators.

2019, X Post: Labeled journalists “enemies of the people.”
2019, Rally: Suggested shooting migrants in the legs to deter crossings.

2020, X Post: “When the looting starts, the shooting starts.”

2020, Rally: Called protesters “low-life scum” and “animals.”

2021, Rally: Called critics “losers” and “scum.”

2022, Speech: Vowed “retribution” against political foes.

2023, Rally: Called Democrats “radical-left thugs” and “vermin.”

2023, X Post: Judges are “corrupt dogs” undermining justice

2023, Truth Social: Gen. Mark Milley deserves “DEATH” for perceived disloyalty.
2023, Interview: Immigrants are “poisoning the blood of our country.”

2024, Interview: Threatened to “lock up” political rivals if elected.

2024, Rally: Liz Cheney should face “a rifle with nine barrels shooting at her face.”

2024, Speech: Political opponents are “enemies from within,” worse than foreign threats.
Pardoned – 

1- Convicted January 6 participants. 1500 Many back in prison; sexual abuse of children, attempted murder of law enforcement, etc.

2 – Leader of Proud Boys, sedition

3 – Leader of Oath Keepers, sedition, evidence tampering

4 – Ross Olbrecht – made millions selling illegal drugs on the dark web

5 – Las Vegas politician – stole from police memorial fund for plastic surgery 

6 – Sheriff – sold badges for cash

7 – Paul Wolzack bought a yacht with money he stole from employees paychecks ticket out –  Mom paid a mil for dinner

8 – Trevor Milton cheated investors, including teachers out of $6mil – ticket out – paid $2mil for dinner

9 – Lawrence Duran stole $200mil from Medicare(hey DOGE – there’s some fraud).

Some 21 convicted of fraud, the full list as of 12/3/25.

weaponization of all government agencies against American’s 

Saying black women or women of color are Low IQ

Quite piggy

EDITED: 1/30/26 3:04pm

Kevin Porter Jr. – dead

Renee Good – dead

Alex Pretti – dead

5 year old Liam

Shake down for voter records in MN to remove ICE.

Raid on the election offices in Fulton, GA.

Ignoring Judges orders and arresting several journalists in the middle of the night, for doing the job of documenting and reporting the events in Minneapolis.

So where was your red line?

Mine? June 16, 2015 the day *he descended the escalator in *his tower and announced *he was running. From that moment, our descent has been embarrassing, disappointing, devastating, heartbreaking and today as unacceptable as I knew it and *he would be. Not even for a second did I think otherwise.

Posted by jennifer

Am I wrong in thinking that we all should have a respect for life?  Let me qualify that. The consideration for the life of another human alive as they stands before you, walks beside you, passes you in movement or are in need of a life saving medical procedure.

I am questioning this. And have for some time but hoped that it was just that part of me where the worst case scenario not only creeps in, but is just there but not a reality. It’s a part of me that I work hard to push down, to not go to, but it is in me. Maybe even part of my DNA.

Even the most evil of evil I believe deserves life. Yes even those who take a life. Do we, can we truly know, understand or even investigate why it happened. Sure, sometimes it seems simple.  But is it? The man who pulled the trigger three times and killed Renee, why?  What in him made that acceptable, including his comment after as her car rolled away and I can only assume she was already dead. His father said he was a good man, father, husband and Christian. That’s a little hard to take in considering what we have seen and heard. So again what in him, not saying anything about his position, gave him license to act as he did?  When you see or hear of law enforcement who don’t display this type of behavior, what damage allows it? Who is Jonathan Ross?

At this point, I think his position is not relevant. Indictment, trial, judgement and yes, incarceration. In many cases it is required and needed.  Eye for an eye?  No. The leading cause of death of those on death row, natural causes.  But that’s an entirely different topic of consideration. 

The death of another often opens grief that has been postponed or tucked away for later.  Even when is someone I have never met and do not know. Either way, it does stop me when it comes into my view. Regardless of who it is.

This week, a 37 year old woman.  A few weeks back Rob Reiner.  Last year Charlie Kirk. Other notables, Keaton, Pope Francis, Swaggert, Redford, Goodall, Cheney, Kennedy, Floyd, Martin, Brown, Arbery, Taylor, the list goes on. And the deadliest year in two decades, 32 died in ICE custody.

About Renee Good I didn’t have enough in me to post more than her picture and; 

About Rob because the current president needed to be himself and make it about himself. “When someone you don’t know dies and it opens those raw places, why? Is it held over past grief that somehow or for some reason got pushed down? Is it the insensitive, unnecessary commentary from some that need to push away or displace grief for an uncomfortable comparison to bring attention to themselves?

About Charlie:

“Yesterday someone took a gun, loaded it, aimed, shot and killed him, murdered him in a public place.  A son, a sibling, a cousin, a husband, a father, a friend. I’ve had a cousin killed by gun violence. This feeling is devastating and numbing. His family is changed for-ever. His children, 1 and 3 now only have pictures and videos.  No arms for hugs, no more words of love.

This is not okay.  This is horrific.  This is not right or left, THIS IS WRONG. This is NOT how we debate difference. 

I decided to cover the image of what I guess are Tweets. Emotional, angry words demanding more violence. Violence toward Democrats, leftist organizations, lunatic leftist and radical left. More name calling, more assumptions with a ‘single story’ labeling a group of people, that includes me as celebrating this.  I am sure there are some who are. I am not.”

This week Rep Jasmine Crockett got very emotional speaking about Renee Good on Capitol Hill, repeating a line from what the Mayor of Minneapolis said. Others in the room were more offended by the “f” word than the murder of a young woman.

I saw a post quoting Rep. Randy Fine(AZ): “If you impede the actions of our law enforcement as they seek to repel foreign invaders from our country, you get what’s coming to you. I do not feel bad for the woman that was involved.”

“I think it’s worth it. It’s worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment to protect our other God-given rights.” ~Charlie Kirk

Considering our President, Vice President, DHS and Rep Randy Fine’s comments. Have I changed my mind about Charlie, I do not feel bad for the man … anymore. No. Because, well saying why feels as wrong to me as what these “leaders” have said. While they may deserve a disparaging comment, I’ll keep it to myself. Even though my Mom would say, if you thought it you might as well say it.

As inhumane as the comments from these “officials” is.  As abhorrent as they tend to be when it is about someone in opposition, I will not stoop to their level. Regardless of who leaves this plain next, regardless of how diametrically opposed they are to my beliefs and convictions, I will not disparage or disgrace them in death as others do.

“There is something uniquely dangerous about a population that refuses to be hurried past its dead. Something unsettling to power about people who show up wet and cold and angry. And not to burn it all down, but to stand together and say, “No, you do not get to move on from this. This is not chaos. This is not despair. This is discipline.” ~ Robert Arnold

Posted by jennifer

What settles into one’s being, their soul, their heart that allows them to freely proclaim approving acceptance of the killing of another human being? Any human being. How does it feel inside. Who does this serve? Has this world dealt them such abuse and grief that any life outside their understanding has no worth and the death of another. Very often one they do not know is some relief for them and gives them this permission.

Where does this aberration live in them? What is its origin? 

I don’t know people who think this is okay. I hear and read people accusing others of it, yet show no proof. However I hear or read on social media language that speaks as support of the current regime in their reply approving acceptance of a death. The President, the Vice President, several GOP and the now new leader of the organization of one that was also murdered in daylight in front of a crowd.  Also leaving young children without a parent.

I’m not one who uses this word, I don’t say it and rarely write it, hate. Where does this hate manifest from?  The origin, what wakes or feeds it and does it not eat at them like I imagine it does? 

It is one thing to read brazen unfounded accusation on a media or organization page on Facebook. But to read a reply on the post of a ‘friend’ by what appears to be their ‘friend’, yet name calling ensues and hateful language. Why are they ‘friends’?  Why not unfriend or unfollow?  Are they there to channel their personal historical pain onto others to relieve themselves? (note to self: do not read comments)

What settles into one that allows them to freely call someone a dehumanizing and disparaging name? What is the argument to a post that has actual meaning, purpose or impact in a positive way for not just yourself, but your family, your friends, your neighbors?  

I don’t know any idiots. I don’t know that I know low IQ people. I don’t call people names to their face or online. I may see or know some who have done stupid things, but they are not stupid. Some call out P.O.S, and honestly just sound like a P.O.S doing it because they have no legitimate argument. Do some actions or words make one stupid?  Does it take a P.O.S to know a P.O.S. And body shaming in any form is wrong, full stop.

Are the lies, abuse and bullying elevating any of us to greatness? No. It just drags us deeper into the land of false narratives.

My truth, the origin lies with one. One who created this alternate space, a waste land that takes from us the full ability to live our lives free and safely. As members of a humanity that cares for others. License to dismiss decency. It limits those actions within that honor and embrace our individual rare contributions and the beauty of our diversity. It opens for some an avenue to use language as weapon instead of a salve for healing. A healing they are in desperate need of.

Did you see the movie Regarding Henry with Harrison Ford and Annette Bening? Henry is a lawyer who survives a shooting only to find he can’t remember anything — he also has to recover his speech and mobility, in a life he no longer fits into. When he finally goes back to work his secretary brings him coffee and pours cream. He watches. She stops just before it overflows.  “When you’ve had enough Mr Turner you say, when.”

There is this split, a gap or a space of difference that for some, for me, just feels enormous. Deep within me I have to believe that space is as alternative as the one he has created and one day maybe soon, the emperor will be revealed for being fully unclothed and the hate will stop and recovery will begin.

We all exist on this planet in this country together. For some, me I guess, there is a misunderstanding of what one believes is right and another is wrong. Right and wrong no longer have the meaning they once had. The meaning of morality, justice and religion have been bastardized. Right is wrong and wrong is right, alternative.  

The NYT asks the most morally bankrupt president we have ever had if he thinks there are limits to his powers, Trump says: “…one thing: my own morality. My own mind. It’s the only thing that can stop me.”

“…When.”

Posted by jennifer