4212 Olive

A Facebook post, five years ago 2019.

I’ve said this a few times, but maybe not like this.

Character is reference to the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual.  I feel like mine are pretty high and I admit to an expectation that those around me or who represent me will at the very least register somewhere on my scale morally.  Moral qualities and human decency do influence my choices.  Especially if they hold our democracy and our freedoms in their hands.

So, no I don’t want a “character” from a novel, play, movie or a tv show in the highest office in the land.  This isn’t a movie or a tv show.  This is life.  Our lives.  OURS.

Before this even with a Republican in office, I never worried about democracy.  I never worried about the rights and freedoms we hold dear that many valiantly fought for.  Never worried about our safety.  Ok, maybe a little bit with Cheney.  I now have no trust that those things aren’t compromised and being slowly stripped away.  

Let’s take a new look at morality and ethics and what that might look and feel like and turn this around.  For this former Christian now Buddhist, we are way off course and I’m hopeful not so far off that we can’t recover.  We have to.

May you be safe.  May you be happy.  May you be healthy.  May you be of ease.  (And yes, even for the one in the Whitehouse and those who are looking past his indiscretions.)

*****

Still, and more.

So much more to say, too often I don’t.  But then I feel complacent and responsible and as half of the county, at least, worried about democracy, freedom, our safety domestically and internationally.  Has complacency delivered us to where we are today?

About a month ago I asked on FB, define morality, ethics and character.  Three responses. I guess I get it. I’m exhausted by the whole thing as well.  Tired of the nonsense, the misinformation, the lies and the unfortunate reality of who we are as humans and citizens. For me, also not the time to be silent to try to slip back in a safe cocoon, bubble, whatever you choose to call it.  It’s life, real life.  To not be engaged, complacent, to not speak up, is a silent acceptance of the adversity and danger that is before us.

We jumble up words.  We jumble up or redefine what some words mean or maybe even what the value of those words one day meant.  Morality, ethics and character.

The thing is, most of you who will (or might) read this will be white. The level of exhaustion of those marginalized by the lack of understanding or interest in protecting those marginalized by us pales in comparison to theirs.  So you scroll on by.   Maybe you think about it, but your fear or lack of interest in the conversation speaks volumes.  Kind of like the quote I saw,

How you treat someone who votes differently than you speaks volumes about your character. Some might say, how you vote speaks volumes about your character.  Okay, I might say.

Or this one, some are angry because they are being judged by the content of their character, not the color of their (white) skin.  

See there, words jumbled.

The idea of or the concept of those three values that I was raised by have not changed in my now 64 years of life.  Today, for me I hold them even tighter even more important than the example I was given lived by my parents and Grandparents.  So much so that, this Liberal over the last 6 to 8+ years feels more conservative than some of you I thought might have been my conservative friends.  I see your acceptance of in my view, a lack of character, a lack of ethics and a lack of morality. All so far removed from what I thought we all believed those to be and mean, that I have to ask, what happened?  How is it that what I believe these 3 to mean is diametrically apposed to what  your choice tells me you believe them to be.

Now, I believe that I have been more than reserved on this.  I’ve not said what I have felt or really wanted to say. I’ve not been as direct as some have been or are toward the current administration. Or your opposition.   

So here it is.  I am so tired of this asshole and he’s not even in office yet.  Yes I called him a name!!  Since calling people names and being nice was over with him since, well since him.  Even though his flock are the ones to ask ME what happened to that notion.  Seriously?  Step back!  

Again, I will say, if you find anywhere, that previous to this I have called that one or anyone a name, posted something that is mean point it out and I will acknowledge that I didn’t hold my tongue as well as I thought.  This post doesn’t count because I am admitting the name calling.  If you feel this isn’t ‘nice’, I ask you to explore your reason for that thought before you plug me with it. 



This isn’t about nice, this is serious.  This is our life, our livelihood and the future we leave those who come after us.  I don’t have my own children, but I have children in my life that I worry about every day their future, the safety, their security.  And with what is before us now, I question every bit of it.

DO you NOT hear what comes out of his mouth?  Does none of that matter? This racist, misogynistic, convicted felon, adjudicated sexual offender who speaks so disrespectfully of anyone, no matter their station every single day, every single minute.  The media has normalized this insidious behavior.  The child whose sole purpose is to cover his own insecurities and inadequacies disparaging everyone around him.  Unless they are giving him money, while suing everyone for saying or reporting the truth?!  Is this a new job a new income channel?  Can we all set back and sue those who disagree or look at us differently?  F!!!!

If you like me are exhausted, image in those he marginalizes every damn day, immigrants, women, Black, Brown, LGBTQ, Military, educated career professionals, doctors, lawyers, scientists.  He is smarter than all of them?  Give me a F****** break!

He is morally, ethically and characteristically bankrupt and next month will be the one running the country.

An embarrassment of our acceptance of a lack of decency.

This is who we are.  

God speed.

Nov 14, 2020 FB post

I have this thought that fear has taken over our ability to live and love with an open heart.

Fear of losing what we believe rightfully belongs to us. To which I have to ask, what does belong to us? What does belong to you? Belong; the property of. Property. You are not property. I am not property. Your kids are not, your spouse is not, etc. etc. etc. Maybe you belong to a church, a group, a community, but you are still not property.

So is it a fear of losing something that is inherently your own personal beliefs, yours and yours alone? No one can take that away from you, it is yours and yours alone. Celebrate it, but don’t hold it over another.

Here’s the thing. There are probably eight billion people in the world. So imagine how many of those who have beliefs that are not yours or even diametrically opposed to you. This is our world, this is your world. It is not a threat unless you open yourself up to the difference and see it as a threat. Freedom is freedom and to place your belief over another is a shadow over another their freedom. We have a lot of work to do in terms of equality. Lots of work.

If we replaced our fear with understanding, that while we may have a different faith or a different political affiliation, are we taking the time to understand the human and the heart of our neighbor, our co-worker or friend? Are we there to listen to understand and embrace the difference and not as a threat to our own belief?

It started early for me, grade school. When I think about it today, I feel that lump in my throat and it makes me sad. There was a girl in my many of my classes who because of her religion, her Mom came and picked her up for any and all holiday celebrations the rest of us had. Her Mom came picked her up and she left school. While I didn’t see it, I see it now like I had, she and her Mom walking down that long empty hall to leave her class because we needed to celebrate Halloween. Even then I thought, why are we doing something that excludes this person? Why do the rest of us have to be so arrogant that our belief, our celebration is so much more important that we allowed it to exclude her? She might have been okay with this. I just don’t know. Either way, still.

Some of you know me. Some of you don’t, really. What both of you have in common is that you do not truly know my heart. We haven’t had the opportunity to have that conversation. You do not know my deepest beliefs. I don’t know yours. You might think you have a hint or an idea because of something I put here. Or I might think I know you because of a post. But neither is knowing the heart.

Some of your shared posts that say, whatever, are generalizations that exclude your friends and neighbors and they have no foundation of truth. And actually are counter to what I think the intention is.

We are humans. We have hopes, dreams and aspirations. We all believe differently, even if we sit next to each other in the pew on Sunday morning. My belief, your belief will never be THE belief of a world full of billions. 

How do we come together in harmony? Let go a little of the fear, hold your truth and allow your heart to be open to others and celebrate the beauty of the differences. Our hopes and dreams aren’t that different.

Peace.

This gentleman in the video below, in just a few minutes says some of what I’ve written over the last 8 years.  I write a lot, lots of words.  I share a very small % of what I actually write.  What I’ll ever do with all of it, I don’t know. There are enormous emotion this week among those in my world who are like minded. Want to know what I’ll bet on? That we won’t be storming the capital in January.

After this post I’m taking another break. When, if I come back, I will expect my Friends number to have dropped.  Go ahead, unfriend and block me because I won’t.  You’ll have to do that. As much as I absolutely disagree with your choice, I know it was your choice and for now we still have a choice.  We all deserve security, opportunity and freedom. We also deserve Black female excellence over white male mediocracy every day.

I see the harm that we have allowed and passed as acceptable. I see the harm that will come. Harm that I truly hope doesn’t touch any of you. I just doubt that it won’t impact all of us.  So much at risk.

If you feel any of this harms you, please check in with your Black, Brown and LGBTQIA+ friends.  Just don’t ask them to help you feel better. Consider their past and now their future. Make sure they are okay.

View on Threads

“What happened to the notion of not calling people names and being nice to one another? Just asking…”. Yes, I will ask this for her, for me and you, over and over and over again.


May you be safe.  May you be happy.  May you be healthy.  May you live with ease.

I try to analyze my tears.  Maybe I shouldn’t.  You tell me. Or don’t.

I feel, in my opinion of course, it is a loss of a hope that we were different.  Not in the way you think but in our ideals, our thoughts around morality, ethics our diversity, and as a friend asked a few weeks ago, “What happened to the notion of not calling people names and being nice to one another? Just asking…”.

Yes, I think I will forever be asking that question because of who asked it of me. Someone I’ve known since kindergarten who is a supporter of the candidate re-elected.

Some days I feel like the conservative. When you try to understand something that has no logic, no reason, no sense, there is no understanding. For some reason, this also made me think of Scrooge near the end of “A Christmas Carol” when he says to his nephews wife, “Can you forgive a pig-headed old fool for having no eyes to see with, no ears to hear, all these years?”. They have no eyes to see, no ears to hear. They choose to not see and hear.

Why do tears flow on this day?  Is it because for years I was able to hold them, to keep them to myself and not let others see them?  And can no longer do that? Is it a collective overwhelming loss, my parents, their decline, making that decision for them to leave their home for a small room in a facility because it was safer?  Is it because of the choices my brother made late in life, with no explanation, with the result of a long incarceration?  How to analyze the collective impact of all of that? What did one mean to the other? Where does it all sit? Sadness. Anger. Grief. Where does one put that?

And now the reality that friends and more Americans saw a better choice, yes in my opinion, in indecency over decency, dishonor over honor, disrespect over respect, division over unity, name calling and disparagement. White male mediocrity rather than black excellence, education, experience, decency and fairness.

White male mediocrity, how sad for all of us. This is who we are.  Racist, misogynistic and fearful of who we could be, so we embrace the worst of us. We embrace the past, what we think is a safety when it is far from it.

Waking up this morning to the reality, while expected, wasn’t welcome. Like a child covering my eyes to not see, I changed the channel to news to see the lower 3rd and what news it would reveal, ‘re-elected”.

Through some tears I opened Flip book on the iPad for a distraction. First thing I read after seeing the results;

What Buddhism can teach in this moment of deep divisions: No person is ‘evil,’ only ‘mistaken’. The author mentions the story of Angulimala. A new story for me.

“This puzzles Angulimala. He asks for an explanation. The Buddha replies, “Angulimala, I stopped committing acts that cause suffering to other living beings a long time ago. I have learned to protect life, the lives of all beings, not just humans. Angulimala, all living beings want to live. All fear death. We must nurture a heart of compassion and protect the lives of all beings.”

After reading about Angulimala, this was the next thing I opened to read, Charlie Sykes opinion on MSNBC.

I fully admit to waffling back and forth. Sorting through my emotions, feeling what in my heart believes people voted for and voted against. Yes, emotions and feelings. Not ashamed to say that. And I’ll say it again, they voted for white male mediocracy, racism, misogyny and against black excellence, educated and experience.

Important words tonight from Sherrilyn Ifil.

I decided to take a break from Social Media, IG, Threads and Facebook.   I go back and forth as to whether it is even a good space to be in.  We all have a lot going on in our lives and some days, if I could just not read the comments, I’d be okay and it would be a more enjoyable place.  Currently being an election season, doesn’t make it any easier.

The hate, the vitriol, the lies, the abuse, the attaches on every day descent humans from others, it more than I can bear some days with all that is in my life and has happened in the last few years.  I’m not here to corner the market on a ‘poor me’ scenario or say I’ve got it worse than other, I don’t. 

Most of you know me.  You know how I was raised, where I was raised and we went to church together.  Some of you may think that because I grew up in church, got a little radical religiously in high school that you thought I might have become a conservative.  Well, I’m pretty sure you no now that’s not the case if you pay attention or have paid attention to my posts here.  If you weren’t paying attain, SURPRISE!  I’m a bleeding heart liberal, life long Democrat.  Just like my Mom, my Dad and his father my Grandpa Green.

I know there is great division.  I know that there are differences today that seem or feel so extreme that there is no going back.  That our culture and our world is changing.  It is happening naturally and in some ways organically and in my opinion can’t be stopped any easier than the rotation of the sun.

We can live in fear, which I know many do because of how they have responded over the last 4-8 years.  Fear that has been manufactured far beyond any reality.

Earlier this week on the post of a friend from high school, I saw someone respond to someone on Facebook who unfriended and blocked me a month or so ago.  So I couldn’t see her comment but the reply was; 

So did she say that people hate her? Not knowing for sure or who “they” might be I had a thought.  Who hates who?  Is she projecting her own self hatred outward in an effort to ease her belief, her fear, how she see’s or wants to see the world.  When I think of the person I’ve known since kindergarten, who I thought she was, the person that is raging through Facebook is not who I thought I knew.  Fun loving, crazy, outgoing, smiling, laughing, what happened to that.  

She is also famously the one who asked the question on a post of mine, 

“Not racist and not a Harris supporter. What happened to the notion of not calling people names and being nice to one another? Just asking…”  

This question from a Trump supporter.  I didn’t respond in the way that I wanted to, asking her to go ask her candidate that question and don’t make me list the names he’s called everyone from family, former staff, Generals, etc.  Seriously?  Seriously she doesn’t in her vacuum bubble of news doesn’t hear him call everyone, stupid and a whole list of derogatory names?

This more than anything completely absolutely gob smacks me.  How can there be anything, any element redeemable with this man that I don’t hear the horrible things he has said and through the legal system found guilty of so, so many things that I’d hope that NO one wants responsible for the safety and security of our country.

The question that would never be answered, do you have woman, children, LGBTQ, Black, Brown, PEOPLE in your life that you care about?  There is nothing he stands for that in some way won’t impact every single person in American except, him, Musk and the Kushner’s. 

This is manipulations at its finest.  How did it not happen to me?  How was I not drawn in to his level of division and hatred of the US?  Fear.  I’m not afraid of tomorrow, my shadow or anything.  And even thinking about a potential second trump Presidency, it’s not fear because I have been listening and know what he will do.  I’m pissed.  I’m angry.  But afraid, no.  No fear.  

I actually think, as I sit here right now writing these words that even with him in office a second time and the few pulling his strings, I do think that there are poetical guardrails out there that we are not aware of and that there just aren’t enough riding his crazy train to let happen what could happen.  But that there will be damage done to the US internationally, economically and environmentally that will take years to repair.  

Side bar.  One day, maybe just maybe she will admit that she is a racist.  I still have work to do in that realm but have done enough to know, the goal the concept is “I’m not a racist”.  For me it’s I am a racist and I am and will do everything I can to learn and be anti-racist.

Day one of break

The Mother Jones headline, “Trump Called for Placing Liz Cheney Before Guns “Trained on Her Face.” But what about “Garbage”?  I’m 100% sure that even this will not deter some supporters and they will vote for him.  His campaign I think has already said that’s not what he said.  So then that video and audio recording of him sitting there next to Carlson, saying “Let’s put her with a rifle standing there with nine barrels shooting at her,”,  He didn’t say that?  How is it that I heard that?  How is it that for me that is reprehensible, even for someone to say that about him, yet he can say it.

I follow a lot of people on Social Media.  I will admit more that align with my political viewpoint, but I’m not in a vacuum bubble either.  I read the other side as much as I can.  I have this thing in me that when listening to some, I can’t stomach it.  I can read into their tone and too often I just can’t listen.  I listen to people who reference history, tell the whole story.  Offer source’s and resources to verify what they are staying.  I’ve never taken anything at face value.  All too often it feels to me that TFG supporters take what he says, face value as fact and truth.  Rarely does the man speak truth.  And if you listen carefully, everything he tries to blame on someone else, he has actually done it and in many cases has been found guilty in a court of law.

Leigh McGowan said it better than anyone the other day.  Something I and others have been saying in different ways for years.  It is this; “I think it’s weird that we’re asking Kamala to answer for what Joe Biden said, be we’re not asking Trump to answer for what Trump says.”  All media has failed us since that day in 2015 when he ascended that stupid escalator.  

Day five, election day

Listening today, trying not to, to know where we will be going.  Forward or back.  Back who knows how many years, 50, 100, 200?

**

I just heard someone say, “being on the right side of history.”  Does history matter to you?  Does history have any impact on you?  If you say no to both, I’m going to try to be nice here.  If you answer no to both, I think that your right to vote to participate in democracy should be questioned and revoked.  I’m not the smartest person ever in any room, I’m not naive or ignorant.  To say that history doesn’t matter or hasn’t had an impact, ignorant doesn’t define it.

After the election of 2016, I felt my understanding of morality and ethical behavior wain.  How did this liberal all of a sudden feel like an extreme conservative?  How did my view of what was appropriate for the highest office in the land all of a sudden become a moral high ground that was beyond reproach.  Actually, I don’t believe that my moral compass is above or beyond reproach.  It is appropriate and oddly enough, I would have thought those on the other side would have been more offended or appalled than I was with there language, the innuendo, and the acceptance of name calling and trash talk.  

About 5 times a day I think of the question asked of me from a Trump supporter that I’ve known since Kindergarten. Yes I am repeating it because it’s beyond explanation or reason,

“What happened to the notion of not calling people names and being nice to one another? Just asking…” 

So do they not hear it?  Is their anger and hatred of diversity of humans so extreme that hearing name calling is selective?  Does a double standard impact your auditory factor? Oh how badly I wanted to say, fuck you!  Ask your racist misogynistic leader why the hell it’s okay for him to call ANYONE a name.  WTAF! I did not. I tried to be reasonable, logical, question it as well. A couple weeks later when I replied to a very angry post about an Olympic female boxer, some facts. I was unfriended and blocked.

I do think of this several times a day. Seriously, ‘not calling people names’? I honestly do not think that I need to list the many names her leader called, Hilary, Kamala, anyone who disagreed with him.

The first shooter was said to have been mercilessly bullied in high school.  What about the guy this week?

I have this crazy, uneducated thought running through my mind since July 13.

I was lucky, I was never bullied.  I can only think of one time that I can recall that I participated in and the sting of it exists still today.  That was around early teenage years.  So I hope the feeling I had at the time that is still within me today, was my lesson and I didn’t do it again.

So I don’t know what it feels like.  I haven’t had to navigate people saying mean things to me or at me or hearing it indirectly.  I do for some reason, when I see it, hear it or read about it, interestingly more every day feel it. I feel it so deep within, the solar plexus, it radiates up into a lump in my throat and brings tears to my eyes.

What if they both were bullied mercilessly and their target was the perceived ultimate bully?

I had a Medium tell once that I take things in through the solar plexus chakra.  Then she said, “So the good news is you know what people are thinking and feeling. The bad news is, you know what people are thinking and feeling.

The job I had before this one that I am fully remote with, at first in was the office, Mon – Friday normal.  Then after a set amount of time, we could choose to work 2 days a week from home or flex, nine nines. Of course I chose 2 days!  There was no parking where I worked so the bus was the only way to get up on that hill.  My commute, depending on traffic was about an hour or two hours.  I was melting mentally every day.  Leaving my house about 6:30am, getting home 7pm.  I probably took in every emotion on that bus on the way in and on the way home.  Then ‘stuff’ happened and some trips I couldn’t hold in the tears even if I listen to music or a book.  Nothing would mask the energy around me.

Then COVID.  I was saved.  In a short few weeks, I embarrassingly felt better.  But I was, considering all the ‘stuff’.  But I digress.

Bullied.  Listening to the people who knew him, they spoke of the shooter on July 13 saying that he was mercilessly bullied in high school.

Was the shooter this week bullied at any point in his life?

I know everyone wants to blame this on everything but what it is actually about.  And I am certain, we will never know unless they find and release verifiable documentation that these people wrote saying why.  Where is that long drawn out congressional inquiry to find out why?

My take, the bullies want to blame the opponent.  Now here is where an unfriendly or blocks happens.  I think DJT is a bully and his running mate is his protege in training.  Actually, I think the training is or was complete.  

What if these men shot at who they perceived as the ultimate bully and decided this is how I take revenge on everyone who has bullied me ever.  

After all of it and last night. “They’re eating dogs!l 

If you are still voting for or are leaning toward the white guy and not the black woman.

I see you. 

I know that there is not a thing I can say that is or will change anyone’s mindedness about anything.  What do I know, I am a nobody.  And I have no illusion or delusions that what I have to say matters at all.  

But what I feel and believe, for me matters to and for people I care about a great deal.  Some I know well, some I know not so well.  Some I don’t know at all, even if they have a public platform that gives them a visibility, reach and frequency that most do not have.

The last few years for me personally have been a challenge.  Painful actually.  Some days it feels like or I still wonder, what’s next.  What will that next shoe have in it?

I work, I think I do, work hard to be fair, kind, decent and do no harm.  I don’t in public forum call people names.  I’ll say this again, if I have please let me know where it is and I will delete and apologize.

This is what I don’t understand.  Hate.  I don’t understand the hate and disparagement of others.  I don’t or can’t comprehend that we have allowed one individual to give us license to point a finger, pass judgment and give no consideration to the impact of our words.  To speak in hateful terms hanging on lies and fabrications. The consequences of those words or our actions will not be gentle.

That we believe one person more than anyone else in the world. More than highly educated scientists.   Highly experience career professionals of 20 and 30 years.  By one person who by all appearances and his story has everything, yet his actions have potential adverse results to some of the most vulnerable living today.  And for what?  None of us have any value to him.  He lacks value of life and liberty.  On his watch, the hate filled and those who fear what is not to be feared will create more chaos, more division of which the consequences will be a surprise to even you.  No one is safe. Your vote for him is not cover, a free pass or any level of protection. 

I listen a lot.  I read a lot, yet I know nothing.  Nothing except that my heart is heavy daily because of how we don’t care for each other.  How we discount people because of their station, their economy, the color of their skin, the street they live on.  The state of their mental well-being or lack there of. That part of us hear hate and the other part hear what I can only understand is fear of losing something that truly has no consequences, is not a reality and will be lost by the very person they think is here to save them.  

Vengeance and retribution are not the answer.  Do you not hear that? Thought, empathy and compassion on a global scale across all lines, all countries, all races is how we move forward together in harmony and community.  

Division has no strategy other than destruction.  Division rips at any fabric of community that we ever thought we might have.  

When we don’t consider the equity of others, I believe that only two things can happen.  One, my laws become your laws.  Or two, your laws become my laws.  Obviously, neither of us wants to be in the other’s world.  Neither of these are sustainable and both potentially create an inequality that I don’t want and you don’t want.  We can’t be so far in one direction that half of the country suffers.  

I see nothing wrong with the middle.  Fair and equal throughout and at all levels.  Revenge is not profitable or productive.  

I see you.  Some days more clearly than ever.  Some days frighteningly so.  I believe we have two choices.

One. A rich white guy with bankruptcies, fraud, assault conviction and several felony convictions. Who in my opinion only complains about not getting his way. Is a racist and see’s everyone as beneath him. He buddies up to dictators and whose fear is actually greater than yours will ever be. 

Or.

Two. A middle class Black woman with a law degree, experience as Attorney General, US Senator, US Vice President. Who in my opinion complains about what needs to be fixed or saved for you and me, freedom and democracy.  Who if you read her record, has fought for the people, not herself or the rich. 

Nothing has become more clear to me in the last few months than the level of acceptance we have settled into white male mediocre leadership in some of the most consequential positions in the country.  Scared, angry white men who don’t want to share the control, don’t want to acknowledge the diverse world we live in and embrace the brilliance that is in that diversity.  Angry white men, so rooted in their fear that they are ineffective and have no accomplishments to speak of.  Concepts.  False, unfounded accusations.  Vindictive projection, the ultimate deflection to cover up their fears and insecurities.

How many of you think of those two things at the same time?  Do you think about either with an level or serious contemplation? The state of not lasting forever or not lasting for a long time and the state or quality of lasting or remaining unchanged indefinitely.

Indefinitely.  Unlimited or unspecified. 

What is unlimited in your life, or limited?

A friend asked me a question this week, “What happened to the notion of not calling people names and being nice to one another?”  I’ll be honest and say here, that they have been one who supports the worst offender of this that I’ve known in my life.  In my opinion. He even said in a recent rally, “if you don’t mind I’m not gonna be nice, is that okay?”  Followed by loud cheers from the crowd.

So I don’t know, what did happened to nice?

We all are guilty of it to a certain degree.  We also all do have our boundaries and limits.  Mine are with the constant barrage of everyone in his view being a target of his retribution because he lost.

Is that because that’s all the media shows us of him?  Maybe. Does he say nice things about anyone, ever?  I don’t know. And those who say derogatory things about him, have they been pushed to the limit of their boundaries and want to ask the same question, what happened to being nice but don’t know how to ask?

I fully admit that I limit my news intake, I read but in the last couple of months have watched very little.  But it just feels to me that what is said about him is in response to his lack of respect for anyone who is different or in his way. Who is not going to defend themselves? And honestly, other than legal charges, what does he need to defend?

So, I don’ t know, what did happened to decency?  

I am not perfect, but I have tried and try every day to be descent. To express my disfavor as respectfully as possible. To not be one who shares, or speaks of another in a derogatory manner.  It just wasn’t how I was raised.  But I too have my limits and boundaries.  That usually comes when I feel or see anyone I care about being a target of potential adversity in his path.

Yes, campaigns are ugly and both sides have skin in the game.  But come on, who is the worst offender, really? Do we really need to make a check list? 

I’ll leave for now with this: How do we enhance each other rather than diminish each other? 

Permanence?

I have been a recruiter in one form or another since 1991, 33 years.  I started in 1991 as an Admissions Counselor at Kansas City Art Institute about a month or so after I graduated.  So that 33 years is new. 

So until about 1998 or 1999 I traveled the US talking to high school students, looking at their portfolios and talked to them about a fine art education.  Then I decided, or had this idea that if I can talk to kids and parents about going to a private liberal arts college, I should be able to talk to managers and people about jobs.  So I branched out.

Started in the right place.  A creative staffing agency placing designers in companies and agencies all over Portland.  Made some life long friends(family) there.  Then a small advertising agency, a footwear company, education & training, staffing again, finance, Animation, a shipyard, healthcare and now technology.

This isn’t something I sought out.  I fell into it. Not the career I ever thought I’d have.  I have been reading and looking at resumes for 25 years, give or take.  It’s been encouraging, enlightening, discouraging, boring, sad, hilarious and absolutely completely exhausting.  

I’ve been reading resumes and talking to people to determine qualifications 5 days a week for 25 years.  I started a very long time ago, going straight to the content I don’t look at or I move quickly past the name.  That means nothing.  What I am looking for is, have they done what I am looking for or something close to it.  Is it the same industry.  I look at education later. Then I talk to them. How do they talk about what they have done.  Can they talk about what they’ve done? 

Most of the companies that I have worked for have goals for diversity, equity and inclusion goals.  Why?  Because they realize what they have been missing.  And remarkably, if they didn’t do that, it wouldn’t be done to the degree it is or should. We have been hiring skill, quality and experience by the person who looks like us.  And for the most part, that’s a white guy.  Sorry white guy, not sorry. Also a white woman.

So, if I see someone say this person or that person being a “DEI Hire” and I see it I will have to comment.  And if I don’t see it, I’ll say it here, you are being racist and taking the easy road by not just using the n-word.  So just say it. Or maybe dig a little deeper before you do say it.

I heard the other day from a black woman who teaches and speaks about anti-racism who asked, have you ever called a white person a white supremacy hire? Or a white privilege hire? Do you refer to disabled people, disability hires? Can you tell me about the extensive research you did into their professional and education background that allows you to use a racist dog whistle to challenge their qualifications?  –Ashani Mfuko

I’ve said this before.  It’s not always understood for some reason.  But.  I have scrutinized and drilled into the skills, experience and qualification of a footwear designer far more than some of you have considered in your choice for President of the United States. What am I saying?  There are more requirements to make your shoes than to run your country. 

What if the qualifications for President were:

X number of years in the house or Senate  

X number of years in pubic service, government, city or state 

X number of years managing multiple agencies or divisions

X number of years managing budget, finance, P&L

X number of years of foreign and domestic experience (OF ANY KIND)

Degree in Political Science, Finance, Foreign Policy, (something like this) plus ten (10) years of professional experience.  Advanced degree preferred.

Then like most hires who will work for many companies a background and credit check.  How about a drug screen?

And imagine if you knew who you were in competition with for the job you were interviewing for and you had to speak about them in public as part of the interview process and they got to speak about you.  Fun, right?  Both parties do this and it is pointless, useless and offers nothing except perpetuate the ridiculous nonsense it is giving lies weight and value.

10am: There are and will be lots of story’s whirling around for several days or weeks now.  Not sure about you, but while I am somewhat used to it, I am not comfortable with the extremes of those stories.  The reach in either direction of dissection that is delivered to us on a daily basis.  Right. left, middle center, orbit….

But there is this thing about me that I don’t talk about much in wide broadcast.  Some of you have it too and what you do with it is  your business, your journey.  Mine, I’m not sure if I keep it too quiet or express it too much.

I was raised to not pass judgment on others.  I was raised to be fair, respect others and do no harm.  Harm comes in many forms, verbal and physical.  Both have and can have lasting impact on a humans existence.  I also, as someone said to me, the good news is, you have the ability to know what people are thinking and feeling.  The bad news, you know what people are thinking and feeling.  Mostly, I do.

I heard someone say earlier today that the individual that who shot at the former president, was bullied mercilessly in high school.  “He was bullied almost every day.” As I listened to this young man speak to this bullying, I felt and saw his pain.  Was the pain his or his ability to feel the pain of one bullied and maybe some regret for not stepping up and in to stop it.  

But that’s not what I’m talking about.  Any person who even has an ounce of feeling or compassion left in them, I would hope could see and feel what I saw and felt when that young man spoke.

Did the bullied direct his hurt and abuse onto the actual or perceived ultimate bully?

What I’m feeling is in regard to the shooter and his actions yesterday, actually honestly, I don’t think it should take any special, extra perception, but anyway.  If this individual was bullied as stated, how, why or did that manifest into what happened?  Why was his revenge, his retribution for years of bullying this?  What did he perceive in or of his target?  What did it represent for him?  An extreme?  The cumulative collection of his abuse?  Did his daily intake of information overwhelm his reality of humanity and did he see this as a person as the one to end all that had been said and done to him?

Of course, not everyone who was or has been bullied, got a gun, climbed onto a roof top and shot at the former president yesterday. But this one did.

I have worked very hard to not speak ill of others, to not share dehumanizing, disparaging words or ‘memes’ about others.  But I see it so much from others.  And I can’t help but think a couple of things.  One, who has hurt you so that this is how you approach a solution?  Two, you must not have had in your life anyone that you cared about who has either had diminished capacity in dementia or Alzheimer’s.  Challenges with mental health or incarceration. Otherwise, my heart has to ask, how do you share or say these things? 

What holds your anger at bay just at childish and juvenile meme’s shared on social media about someone’s health or speech or misfortune?  What stops you at the ‘share’ and doesn’t take you to the roof with a long gun?

Is this our solution?  Is this our way forward to a kinder, gentler existence together in a world that will change no matter how hard we try to keep it from changing?

What are we going to do to live together, to be productive and prosperous?  It’s not charging a venue with guns and vitriol.  It’s not fire arms taking out those of our differences, or promising arrest and prosecution for those who think differently than you do. Yet here we are.

Do we have to go so far back in time and so deep to come to the surface again and live or attempt to live in a world together where we all are accountable for our actions. Taking responsibility for our contribution to the emotional wake? We have laws and rules that apply to everyone not just a few. And what is broken, can’t we truly and honestly try to fix it without killing, demeaning or disparaging another human.

Step up friends.  This is your world.  This is your place to create what I honestly think is what we all want, peace, contentment, safety, trust, accountability and harmony.

“May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you live with ease”.