I’m pretty sure that growing up, values wasn’t part of my regular vocabulary. It wasn’t top of mind, or an issue of discussion. In other words, I didn’t hear the word values that often if ever unless it was specific to something, a class a personality test or maybe a job application later. Because we just lived our values. It wasn’t challenged or questioned.
Other words that were infrequent, religion, government, morality and tradition.
Somehow life was lived by a set of unspoken, values, tradition and morality. It was the daytime soaps my Mom watched that values were questionable. How many times were Lisa and Erica married? Luke and Laura? Phew!Life in the soaps traveled at lightning speed. My Mom used to raze me, “Lisa and I were pregnant at the same time, Tom has been to war and is now a lawyer, you’re still in high school!” LOL! This was early or mid-70’s.
While I am not naive or dense, I realize that there were issues, that things happened. I’m going to guess, maybe even at the same rate? That overall statistics of life might not be that much different, we just know about it because of wall to wall 24/7/365 news.
What are family values? What is morally, what is tradition beyond what you do for birthdays or holidays?
We had what I would call family traditions around holidays. Then there were shifts, the evolution of the family. People grew up, got married and naturally divided the traditions to more of a yours, mine and ours if you will. Nothing wrong with it, but it was different. Sometimes I’d wish that Christmas Eve was just as it was. The house full of family, watching old home movies backwards or patiently (maybe not) waiting for the dishes to be done so that presents could be open, was gone.
The values, the morality, the tradition was almost unspoken because it did feel like it was who we were. We didn’t talk back, or if we did, we knew the consequences. Same for lying, breaking the rules or the laws. Respect was appropriate, not given just because of a position or title.
I didn’t know anyone who had been married 5 times. I didn’t know any parents who had affairs. I’m sure that happened. I didn’t have a lot of friends who were children of divorce. A few high school pregnancies, but the message I heard about that was never a judgmental one.
Of course in the late 60’s and 70’s gay or lesbian wasn’t “out”. I think for some we guessed or wondered, but it wasn’t out. Although realized later, I know now that my cousin was gay. I just hope that he never felt that I wouldn’t have loved or treated him any differently if I knew.
And now, 2025 we have a president who has bankrupted several businesses. Has been restricted from nonprofit work in New York because he was found guilty of misuse of funds for personal and political gain. Fraudulent university. He is on his third wife, all three he cheated on and had affairs with a number of women, publicly. He was charged and found guilty of 34 felonies for falsifying business records and mishandling classified documents, election interference, found liable of defamation (2024) and liable for sexual abuse(2023)and defamation. He’s a racist. You can probably count on both hands , maybe one how many times he has actually been in a church or held a bible.
In September he signed a new Executive Order, NSPM-7 targeting groups, organizations or individuals That can be identified by;
anti-Americanism,
anti-capitalism,
anti-Christianity,
support for the overthrow of the United States Government,
extremism on migration,
extremism on race,
extremism on gender
hostility towards those who hold traditional American views on family,
hostility towards those who hold traditional American views on religion, and
hostility towards those who hold traditional American views on morality.
Right now the true offender is the president and every appointment he has made back to the Supreme Court. He says the quiet part out loud every day and tells you exactly what he’s going to do, but wraps it up with a fake Biden bow.
Why? Because he can. Because he is a weak, insecure, shallow individual with child like mentality that easily gets his feelings hurt and is in a position that due to lack of any guard rails or consequences from anyone allows his retribution and tantrums.
The bastard has bastardized truth, reality and anything sacred.
I have two thoughts that while right now in my head feel different, but I know they aren’t. I know that some of us are afraid of that word ‘critical’. Stay with me for a minute.
You’ve heard, listen to understand or listen to respond right?
Search Assist:
“Listening to respond means focusing on what you want to say next while the other person is speaking, which can lead to misunderstandings. In contrast, listening to understand involves fully engaging with the speaker’s message, seeking to comprehend their feelings and perspective without planning your response.”
One, too often we just read the headline and not the entire article or thesis. I actually read a study a while back that indicated that about 70+% of people do only read the headline.
Two, we listen to what we want to hear, one line, one reference or a sentence and form our opinion of that when we have missed the context or entire thesis. Or we don’t form our own opinion we take the opinion of another. Much easier, less work to do that.
And here we are. You’re wrong, I’m right. I’m right, you’re wrong. Right wing. Left wing. Radical…
Manipulation. I can say lots of things and make them sound a certain way to some, but others will hear the exact opposite.
Bias. A few years ago I asked a question about bias. If you listen with bias can you hear truth? Can you? I don’t think so. Do you know and understand your biases? Again, too much work, so no.
Let me start with this controversial example. I don’t believe 99.9% of what the current president of the US says. Others believe and live by every word he says. I did a search a while back. Something like who lied more, Biden or current occupant of the Oval? Result, Biden 2 or 300, *him 30,000+. (note: *him, *he, and current occupant is current president.)
One most recent example. *He says that Portland is burning. IT IS NOT. I sat here last weekend and watched video after video after video of friends out and about in Portland and guess what. *He. Is. Lying. The current Governor and Mayor of Portland, both voted in by the voters have told him that there is no issue and to NOT order National Guard. He did, we sued. The Governor and Mayor, both Democrats.
My dearest friend lives blocks from the one ICE facility that has protestors out front just about every day. All 5-10 of them during the day and more at other times. At NO time has there been fire. An officer did aggressively knock someone to the ground a few weeks ago. Don’t know why, saw that video. Yes, in 2020 there was a block or two during the Protests for the murder of George Floyd where things got a bit tense and there were fires and building break in’s … AFTER the fed came to town and stirred the pot. Whom ever these people are that he knows who have left Portland because it’s so bad are most likely … well … never mind. Why, because he knows NO ONE who left. Sure some have left.
Let’s see if we can find a survey or study as to why. Quick couple of minutes with a search, taxes, affordable house and while maybe moving out of Portland, not going far. Suburbs or WA where there’s no income tax. But they’ll still come to OR to shop, no sales tax. And many of them work in OR. So. I moved out of Portland because I was fully remote and could. I’ve wanted to live near water all my life, I found a place at the coast. Times like now, the last few weeks I wish I were still in Portland so I could share images and videos and tell that a**hole and those who believe *him to F – off.
I’ve made a few comments about name-calling. Yes, that is an issue. It’s childish, absurdly ridiculous and unpresidential. But what else does *he say and in what context is *his name-calling? Or someone else, is the context or what they say a cover for name-calling and tell you something else? Do they not say, Low IQ, horrible person, very bad person, stupid, not very smart, to try to stay above the fray of a juvenile delinquent?
I’m not going to include who said these. They can easily be referenced in a search. Here are a few quotes that I say are name-calling without the name-calling.
If I see a Black pilot, I’m going to be like, boy, I hope he’s qualified.
If you’re a WNBA, pot-smoking, Black lesbian, do you get treated better than a United States marine? (I’ll add and the military who have had spouses deported or the Vet who live on the street, homeless?)
Happening all the time in urban America, prowling Blacks go around for fun to go target white people, that’s a fact. It’s happening more and more. (Do us all a favor and google ‘crime stats’)
If I’m dealing with somebody in customer service who’s a moronic Black woman, I wonder is she there because of her excellence, or is she there because of affirmative action?
If we would have said that Joy Reid and Michelle Obama and Sheila Jackson Lee and Ketanji Brown Jackson were affirmative action picks, we would have been called racists. Now they’re coming out and they’re saying it for us … You do not have the brain processing power to otherwise be taken really seriously. You had to go steal a white person’s slot to go be taken somewhat seriously. (I’d say check their education, but I know what some of you will say)
I think it’s worth it to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the second amendment to protect our other God-given rights. That is a prudent deal. It is rational. (Some hill to die on huh?)
America was at its peak when we halted immigration for 40 years and we dropped our foreign-born percentage to its lowest level ever. We should be unafraid to do that.
The American Democrat party hates this country. They wanna see it collapse. They love it when America becomes less white.
“They love it when America becomes less white.” Ah, the browning of America. It can’t happen soon enough for me. THEN only then maybe Black and Brown people will have the needed numbers to get the full and equal representation they should have. What comes to my mind reading those statements together is racism.
I’ve recruited students and employees. All while it was either EOE or DEI. I did hear of at least one story of a student whose father was going to write a very large check or did to the school for tuition. The kid, who was not white did not have the skills or what was needed for acceptance. That kid did not matriculate. While a corporate recruiter I looked for qualifications and I believe that I can say, that everyone that was hired for a job that I was working on was qualified for that job. No one got a job because they were a certain race. I also, unless it was actually required, didn’t look at education.
QUALIFICATIONS! Doing this since 1991 and seeing the current box of unqualified rocks running the country has me PISSED!
This administration is racist and anyone who still supports *him, is completely aligned with the lies, rhetoric and policies is also racist. Full stop. There I said it.
Oh, you didn’t like me taking a large perceived mass of people and call them ALL racists? Who does like it? No one.
I went back to try to find what was posted that had this reply, but did not find it.
“For those of us that are educated and familiar with the English dictionary “Patriotism is the feeling of love, devotion, and a sense of attachment to one’s country or state.” Has nothing to do with your neighbors. Which adds truth to your lack of patriotism. You just don’t now the truth about anything, so you make it up expecting people to believe you.” (because if you don’t believe what he tells me, you’re wrong)
Now I could make several more assumptions, which may not entirely be assumptions? And I’ve gone back and forth on what I say here. The commenter a white man who supports the serial offender, affording him license has one arrest record. The poster a white man was a Sheriff who resigned admitting to an inappropirate relationship with a female employee. The poster and commenter attended the same high school I did. I’m not sure about education beyond high school. An assumption I am taking from his(the commenter) other comments tells me that he is very angry at something or someone so projects that onto the one(the poster) who appears to have taken responsibility of his “personal failings”. I don’t know the entire story, it’s an old one. That said, it appears he took accountability.
I read that comment over the weekend. Two, three days later it’s still with me. This ‘commenter’ it appears does not like the ‘poster’. The ‘poster’ seems to piss him off, always. So another assumption, he’s more interested in verbal attacks than to just walk away, keep scrolling, unfollow or unfriend. It’s the attack that is important to him. His visibility in the fractured ‘conversation’. That self-righteous indignation. The comment was the first I’d seen that wasn’t just a dig. Again, usually showing his allegiance to a man rather than a country or the law and offering nothing but the dig.
Okay, enough of that. I’m starting to feel like the ‘commenter’.
Sometimes I read replies. Most of them make me sad. Most of them are a weird, complex example of the fracture in humanity. And a freedom from decency. I’m of the opinion that it’s always been there, just under the surface. Then someone came along and allowed some to bring it out into the open without apology. Why? Fear, identity fusion, racism, greed, manipulation or just willful ignorance? They can say what they want now, regardless of how it demeans or dehumanizes, yet they are still angry.
I’ve been trying to sort out the contradiction. Is it a contradiction? It almost feels like another bastardization of a definition.
My first thought without any other information was when I read it, how can patriotism not involve one’s neighbors? Belief in something that the entire country either believes in or not will involve another, neighbor, friend or foe.
“What does it mean to be Patriotic? Even that question divides us as Americans. “Despite these divisions, there’s a strong desire for a renewed sense of unity and a more inclusive understanding of patriotism.”
“When given a list of options, among the top choices in our survey were supporting the military(neighbor) (by 59% of the respondents), flying the flag(object) (52%) and celebrating national holidays like July 4 (45%).”
“For some respondents, it means voting (61%), speaking out against political leaders (49%) and pushing the country, sometimes uncomfortably, to live up to its promises.”
All have potential impact on … your neighbor. To remove your neighbor from patriotism to me feels like a devaluing. Or removing your responsibility to consider them. It feels arrogant. It gives more value to an object or even words, that depending on who wrote them could have just about any intent behind them.
“Most Americans consider themselves patriotic, but fewer and fewer people agree on what that means.”
What anything means these days is a problem. I see this posters posts frequently. I have commented a few times. I typically scroll by. Occasionally I do read the replies. (note to self: don’t read replies)
We now have license to say the quiet part out loud and more than that the opposition just isn’t nice. I think I am, or try to be. But nice has also been redefined.
I guess we don’t have to be nice. I’d prefer it. Especially with people we have know for 30-40-50- even 60 years. I did have a friend, who I have known since kindergarten, replied to a post of mine last year asking “What happened to the notion of not calling people names and being nice to one another?” She later blocked me when I asked a question on an angry post of hers a few weeks later about the Olympics.
Her comment, it kind of took my breath away considering I had seen her call people names on her page and the litany of name-calling the candidate and now president she supports. Not to mention his recent proclamation, “I hates my opponents and I don’t want the best for them.” At a memorial service no less.
It can’t be said enough, hate will not make us great, it will destroy everything I and even you think is true and right. What I hear as hate and what they hear as hate are contradictory. We have allowed one person to bastardize everything from truth to religion and how we see each others as human beings.
It’s easy to go out and find the definition of something. It’s not a stretch. I do that all the time. I have advanced education, but that gives me nothing. My question, what about meaning OF that definition? What does it mean to hit up google then copy and paste the words found. Then offer a (IMO) somewhat narrow understanding of the meaning of the word as what we all should accept as definition or meaning.
Search Assist: Patriotism in America is often defined as a love for one’s country, encompassing respect for its symbols, values, and the sacrifices made by its citizens. However, interpretations vary widely, with some viewing it as a call to hold the nation accountable to its ideals, while others see it as a more traditional expression of loyalty and pride.
“…values, and the sacrifices made by its citizens.” I personally can’t think about much that is going on today, political or otherwise that does not involve or include ‘my’ neighbor. Even the neighbor who voted against everything I believe are values of the America I grew up in. The one my parent and grandparents showed me, by their living example. Now, if you did not know me, would you now know “what side” I am on?
Help Save America: For many Americans, patriotism now emphasizes civic participation, community service, and defending democratic institutions. Volunteering, voting, and supporting first responders are common expressions. Others find patriotism in cultural pride—music, food, and regional traditions—or through military service.
Community service, volunteering, first responders, neighbors.
How has patriotism changed over time?
“Patriotism has shifted from Revolutionary-era resistance to a broader civic identity shaped by wars, social movements, and political debates. Its expressions have expanded from public rituals to civic engagement and social activism.“
I’m not sure that there is a reasonable, logical cogent explanation as to this dynamic that is our current discourse. In the Bulwark’s Focus Group talking to voters of the current president one says;
“…because they literally think that any right-winger or Trump voter is is an actual unironic Nazi or racist anti-semitic so on and so forth.”
“And I think that conservatives are a lot more open to be able to talk to the opposing side than. than the other way around.” (both comments copied from Youtube transcript, unsure about accuracy)
Both of those comments are, in my experience, the exact opposite. It feels to me that the ‘conservative’ side or the GOP/Republican/MAGA voter is too angry to talk. I’ll take the route of others who are listening and say, if you don’t want someone to call you a Nazi or racist, don’t talk like or quote the words of a Nazi or a racist.
I’ve tried to be measured with my words, not call out what I am hearing for what it is but try to be neutral enough to maybe invite a conversation. People for the most part, have no response. I’ve only had questionable replies to my comments from people who don’t know me, but what I see is name calling or an angry response that is hateful, not nice. (IMO)
But by saying that patriotism has nothing to do with your neighbor, this completely removes any engagement of another human. I’m not sure how one eliminates that engagement. It removes any responsibility to be accountable to harm of any kind. It is strictly a commitment or an allegiance to an object. What has an object done for you? Yet it’s an emotional attachment that conjures up such emotion when it is challenged and doesn’t align with how they believe it should be considered, honored or respected. All that, rules for thee but not for me.
All this to say, you have to consider your neighbor in all you do. Giving more respect, honor and consideration for an object is the projection of so much, that to say more should involve more reference and reading. Maybe I’ll do that later.
With every word out of your mouth, every vote, every dollar you spend, just about every action you take, will impact another, a neighbor. We should all do ourselves and those neighbors a favor and stop for even a few seconds and think, actions, result, consequences. And if that last has any negative adverse impact on any other human, you have to stop. You have to. Full stop.
I’m sure most of you have heard the phrase, the hill I’ll die on or not the hill I die on. I’ve been thinking about that for several weeks now.
The definition from Wiktionary is; ‘refers to an issue or position that someone is willing to defend with strong conviction, regardless of the potential costs or consequences. It implies a commitment to a particular belief or principle, often with little intention of compromise.’
Sometimes it’s just financial reach and frequency. The significance may not have origin or foundation. It might be thrown around casually in humor, on podcasts, in fact there is a podcast called, “Hills I’d Die On.
Not something that should be done casually even in jest these days, the hill I’ll die on. “I think it’s worth it to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the second amendment to protect our other God-given rights. That is a prudent deal. It is rational.” I do not know him, but I’m willing to say this is not the hill Charlie Kirk wanted to die on.
In 2023, gun suicides 27,300, gun homicides 17,927, unintentional 463, law enforcement 604.
Words have power and consequences.
“If I see a Black pilot, I’m going to be like, boy, I hope he’s qualified.”
“If we would have said that Joy Reid and Michelle Obama and Sheila Jackson Lee and Ketanji Brown Jackson were affirmative action picks, we would have been called racists. Now they’re coming out and they’re saying it for us … You do not have the brain processing power to otherwise be taken really seriously. You had to go steal a white person’s slot to go be taken somewhat seriously.”
Joy Reid – Harvard -BA, pre-med track before shifting to Journalism
Michelle Obama – Princeton -BA, Harvard -Juris Doctor
Shelia Jackson – Yale -BA, U.VA -Juris Doctor
Ketanji Brown Jackson – Harvard Government, Harvard J-uris Doctor
Charlie Kirk – Harper College -one semester
I have been reading and cringingly listening to him for the last few days. I’ve taken the last few days to do this because, my head, my heart and my gut can only take a few minutes at a time. They say that one day ir one event shouldn’t define the person. What he has said and done in the last four years says to me, he is troubled or trouble and a full on racist. And has bastardized, religion and Christianity.
A provocateur. Per the Safari “search assist”, a person who intentionally incites others to take action, often to provoke strong reactions or create controversy. Engages in behavior designed to provoke strong reactions or dissent. May stir up dissent within a group to undermine efforts. They might infiltrate to incite violence.
He found a way to capitalize on an unfounded fear that was and would be perpetuated by a presidential candidate. He is/was provocateur, who in that niche finacially benefited rapidly. In 2016 he was making $27,000. By 2021 $407,00. Early on TP struggled. Becoming an ally to the president, contributions doubled, tripled, reaching $79.2 million.
Now I have no issue with successful people doing well and making money. Even making it quickly. But not on the backs of others or in the act of becoming successful there is harm and marginalization of any measure to other humans. His message represents the worst of us.
While he had his followers, there was a mountain of harm happening, direct from him and some of those followers. Every day people going about their lives, were targets. Death treats from his followers to those on a hit list and often their families. I would imagine that there were probably threats to him as well. Another hill I guess.
For a range of reasons, I feel for his children. If their mother’s grace at his memorial was true and genuine, will she or can she have influence on the vengeance the others there are fully committed to? I lack the confidence for that at any level. It will be and continue to be hate for his opponents wishing upon them the worst. Although we still have to figure out who those people are.
At a memorial service. When they show you who they are, believe them.
Sometimes I work for days or maybe even longer to put into words what is in my brain. Sometimes, lots of times I read someone else who brings the words together better than I could.
“Imagine a world where differences are not sources of division but threads woven into a vibrant tapestry of human experience.”
-Bridging Divides: Understanding and Overcoming “Othering”.
A set of dynamics, processes, and structures to engender marginality and inequality across any of the full range of human differences based on group identities,”
-Stephen Menedian, Haas and John A. Powell, UC Berkeley
“…values their own group while denigrating and excluding anyone from a group different from theirs…”
-MasterClass
In today’s climate and the overwhelming amount of rhetoric, it’s hard to not fall into othering language. And honestly, what some say is othering personified, inflammatory, reeks of dehumanization and makes me want to other them.
And…here is the part where I might lose some of you who are reading. Some may feel they have been excluded or denigrated. Well let’s take a few, are you Black, Brown, Gay, Lesbian, or Trans? If not, then you will have a hard time convincing me that you have been othered, truly marginalized. Sorry. Othering justifies mistreatment. Have you had your basic human rights taken? Stopped by law enforcement just because. That said, nothing justifies mistreatment, period. But let’s measure it.
With the language today, what or how some things are said in many circumstances I maintain, it’s not right or left, it is just wrong. I strive to be very measured and fair in what I say or write. Sometimes this works. Sometimes I hear myself othering. Sometimes I don’t hear it. I invite you to call me out.
Us vs. Them, racial or ethnic differences, gender, sexual orientation, and socioeconomic’s are frequent targets of othering and marginalization. This is happening today. Without actual proof or direct knowledge of facts, we are othering. Division, violence, persecution and broad marginalization is disrupting and fracturing levels of belonging that could and can rewards each of us with a range of experiences. Yes I said rewards. A range of rewards for us from those we are told to fear and avoid and see as enemy, simply are not.
I’m going to say it’s not US vs. Them. It’s US vs. *Him.
Unity for me is all about letting people do their own thing and live their best lives. It’s not about controlling or expecting others to do what I think is right. It’s about giving them the freedom to take care of themselves and make choices that are best for them, without physical harm to another. The hard part, when something is said and within hours you see or read the direct negative impact of what was said.
I sincerely hope that we all share a common understanding of right and wrong. I believe that a moral and ethical compass guides us away from causing harm to others and encourages us to seek the root causes of such harm without prejudice.
However, if we let it happen, once the ‘othering’ is complete and a small group of white (rich) men make decisions for you, what kind of life will you have? Does the peace and stability you seek truly involve the exclusion of others? Where does this process end? Do you genuinely believe it will stop before it reaches you?
If your purpose is to protect your family, what are you protecting them from? Seriously. I more or less know most of you reading this. (btw, thank you if you are) I more or less know where you live. What do you need protection from? An invisible boggy-man that someone in DC made up to scare you? Someone who has never been in your neighborhood? Someone who does not know you who has one purpose, themself.
How might you best protect your family, your loved ones? I don’t believe it is universally mandating one way for us to all live. And that one segment of us is evil. This is autocracy. And it feels a bit like, well if everyone live one way, then it releases us from having to do any of the work to ensure fairness and equality. Let’s just close the windows, put up the blinders and have nothing here that broadens any experience. Maybe you don’t have the time to discuss the differences or opposing opinions. Fine. What about your kid? Your grandkid? Bet they are, so let them drive the conversation and participate in it! Then you can be prepared to see the extreme in either direction. And be realistic about what extreme is. That scary, critical thinking thing.
Is your past clean enough to not be othered by someone? Jimenez a legal permanent resident, mother of four was detained at Boston Logan for 10 days because of a 20 year old charge that is no longer a crime. In college she had a small amount of marijuana on her. So not a rapist or a murderer. If we continue to turn our heads to this because, not me. Are you sure? Wondering what had to be done to find her and that 20 year old charge from when Jimenez was in college? And with the new supreme court ruling essentially allowing racial profiling, who is at risk? Every single one of us. Do you have loved ones that could be ‘seen’ as an “illegal”?
“The Fourth Amendment protects every individual’s
constitutional right to be “free from arbitrary interference
by law officers.” Brignoni-Ponce, 422 U. S., at 878.
After today, that may no longer be true for those who
happen to look a certain way, speak a certain way, and
appear to work a certain type of legitimate job that pays
very little. Because this is unconscionably irreconcilable
with our Nation’s constitutional guarantees, I dissent.”
~ Supreme Court Justice Sotomayor
I know it’s overwhelming, believe me! Please pay attention. Start locally. Spend your money locally, local shopping. What is the School board doing in your town? City Council, your State Representatives. Listen to what others are saying, listen to hear commonality. Listen to understand. There is a middle ground and it will not put your rights to believe what you believe or live the life you want to at risk. What is happening now, where we are headed, is a risk to all of us and not where I think we really want to be.
Years ago I had this idea and bought a URL. It was WAY before the current administration. I included a couple of friends, but we all 3 had real jobs and this idea or actually making anything of it was overwhelming. I’m retired now, maybe I should bring it back, thehouseofhypocrisy.com.
I have a few friends on Facebook. There are many I have known since Kindergarten. There were about 520 in my HS graduating class. That’s about how many “friends” I have on FB. Of course that’s not my class, it’s a mix of the last 60 + years. A handful or so I have known since kindergarten. So 60 years.
One of the kindergarten “friends” unfriended and blocked me about a year ago. Why did she block me? She was absolutely incensed about the female boxer at the Olympics that people were accusing of being trans and posted something a bit unhinged about it. The boxer who it had been reported, while not verified, that she was born with a unique genetic code due to Swyer Syndrome. Resulting in having XY chromosomes.
While I don’t know exactly what my reply was, since she blocked me. I reciprocated the action. I can’t see her, she can’t see me. Anyway, I said something like, what about someone on the other side of the planet, just trying to live their best life has any impact on you? And I included a link about the syndrome. A couple of days later when I went back to check to see how much trouble I was in, I found out.
A few weeks before that I had shared a video from Mother Jones of a woman talking an out DEI. The video had clips of Fox new calling Kamala, bi-racial werewolf, hood ornament, DEI Hire. The woman doing the video, did call those on Fax assholes, but. I’m not sure she actually listened to it. I had the impression, like some, she already knew everything and didn’t need to listen to anyone that wasn’t going to aligns with her fears, I mean ideologies or beliefs.
She replied to the post, “Not a racist and not a Kamala supporter. What happened to the notion of not calling people names and being nice to one another?” Just asking…”
Hypocrisy
What I wanted to say;
1 – yes you are a racist, so am I – I’m just working hard to be an anti-racist
2 – I know you’re not a Kamala fan because when she was running before she became the VP you were quick to inform me on a FB post that she had “slept” her way into a job 20 years ago. Got it. Jesus.
3 – what I did not say, but wanted to was, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? You and YOUR “leader” call people names all the time. And nice? That when out when the insecure, weak, racist, misogynistic, rapist descended that elevator and announced his run to destroy America.
What I said. There was no response to my reply.
Good question. I didn’t care for the name calling here either, bi-racial werewolf, hood ornament, DEI Hire, asshole. Maybe we can ask those in this video?
Our definition of things like mean vary for some reason. Like credibility, reliable, accountability. experience, justice, racism, judgement, morality, virtue, decency, respect, honor.
Even a word some might think insignificant can be received as disparaging and have a negative impact. They serve no purpose and say more about who delivers it than who receives it.
It’s not just name calling, it’s inference to someone’s being, character or well being. Instead of talking substance we go for the easy shot, the hit and run that often gets a laugh. And at what cost?
After living through my parents decline and dementia last year, when someone made some reference to the decline of either candidate, I thought, they must not have or had a loved one with dementia so does that make it okay to make fun, share a meme or a comment about them?
I think I posted here a very long time ago a similar question, asking had we all forgotten that old saying, if you can’t say something nice. And don’t we still teach kids that today? Cause at the time, I was seeing a lot of adults name calling.
The question for me here, as I heard someone say or ask yesterday. And why I shared this video is about DEI. Would we call a white employee a white supremacy hire? An employee with a disability, a disability hire? No.
We collectively have a lot of work to do in our anti-racist efforts. Because if we are white, we have a level of privilege whether we want to admit it or not. We will have racist ideas, thoughts and perceptions. Striving to be anti-racist is work, some are doing better than a few of the white men and Jeanine in this video.
Several weeks later I saw a reply on someone else’s FB post. Because she had blocked me I could’t see what she had posted but someone replied and I could see her name. The reply was, “they don’t hate you, they despise the lying old man you all worship.”. I had also see her post somewhere that because she had a Journalism degree, she retired from Air Traffic Control, she could tell the difference between real and fake news. Now consider this, if she does have a degree in Journalism that was awarded in 1983. I wanted to ask, what kinds of tools or things was she taught between 1979 and 1983 that now today, arm her with the proper “fake news” detector? Must have advanced her education through YouTube or stayed the night at a Holiday Inn Express.
I keep writing about this, don’t post them all. So many times a day, out of his mouth is a reminder. The double standard. The hypocrisy. The absolute delusion of what he is doing and who he is doing it to and those people still supporting him.
Today while at The Museum of the Bible. Now, like everything else an opposite is made. Mean is nice, nice is mean. And they say we (I am) so hateful.
I have for a while believed that, *this is who we are* as apposed to the, *this is not who we are*.
What is unexpected, alarming, hard for me to take in is the hate. The vitriol and advantage that some have taken of the mask being stripped off … while wearing a mask.
It’s the little things. Like the small 12” x 18” flag near my front door, “Hate Won’t Make Us Great” that I had to remove. My neighbor, “Mrs (DJT) Kravitz” inquired to the HOA, “how long can we leave a sign or posting up in our yards?” Or the angry “billionaires” that flip off or angrily yell at, depending on the weekend, 50 to 500 of us peacefully protesting in town out on HWY 101. They have to be billionaires right? It’s a small percentage of who drive by as we stand out there peacefully, but still.
And it’s the big things. I try not to watch these videos but I watched a couple last night of ICE taking down individuals. Four, five or six guys taking down one. Two or three full on running someone down. Literally taking them or knocking them down to the ground more aggressively than what you’ll see on Monday night football. Four, five or six masked guys tackling one guy who is half the size of one of them. In one the person recording the video was asking, surprisingly calmly, who are you? What are you doing? Where are you from? Do you have a badge? Over and over. No response. Except an occasional FU. But he kept asking, who are you? At one point the person said, “you’re ruining our country”. One of the masked unfortunates said, “liberals already did that”. Ah. Revenge is powerful isn’t it?
So partial answer to the question as to how can people do this to other people? They have been conditioned lead to believe that one subset of people have done them wrong. They now get to go after “them”! The “they”, the ones who have done them wrong! “They” have taken something that they believed that they deserved. Deserved just because they were a certain subset of people. In this case, white male. Slightly overweight fragile white male I’ll add. With no requirements or qualifications required, probably with a criminal record and more dangerous than the poor soul they just smashed to the ground. Or the video of the white deplorable shooting the Black marine in a wheelchair in Seattle.
These crush me.
We are now in the throws(literally) of destruction from ill informed, unqualified, dangerous, mediocre white men and women. Mostly men. Who otherwise would not have been hired, not because of DEI, but because they just fucking aren’t qualified, period! Sorry men, I do know several white men who are not mediocre, unfortunately they are not in positions that matter. Positions that can and will have an impact on your life, my life and the lives of those we love and care about. For those who love and care more about the safety of their loved ones more than who they voted for.
It is the anger that I cannot comprehend. It is the anger that is motivation that I cannot take in or understand. It is also what feeds that anger that I cannot comprehend. And how some believe it lock, stock and barrel and others see the lie a mile a way.
It seems to me that the abuse, the physical abuse that we are seeing today, has escalated to an unsettling, startling level, to say the least. That the few that have been surreptitiously, maybe illegally hire and mostly unqualified have been given the power to do what I think many of us believed is racist, criminal and illegal. Physical actions, arrests toward Black and Brown people for no reason with no due process done by men with hoods to cover their identity. They fear a lot don’t they?
This has now been unleashed to include, well people. I am not saying that white supremacy hasn’t been while maybe hidden a bit, alive and well. With this new “ICE” they have license to take anyone down individually or within a group. And white supremacy certainly has a sickening new acceptance among some. Seriously, these men come from out of nowhere. Doesn’t it seem random? They have been given permission to put their anger into action, their resentment onto their perceived enemy, cover up their weakness with this payback. Payback for what? The manufactured fabricated world created by ONE that no ONE stopped. NO one!
Dissent is a crime. Descent has been abandoned.
“the thing that Trump realized was that there were all of these white people who wanted to be “free of the requirements of decency.”
Several years ago, late 1990’s, I was siting on a white sandy beach in Sarasota Florida with a few colleagues. Colleagues might be a bit of a stretch, we didn’t work for the same school, but we all did the same thing all across the country and had formed friendships and partnerships in an effort to help high school students find the best educational environment. We all offered a four year bachelor’s degree in fine art. Each school while offering very often the same thing, Painting, Photography, Design, Illustration, sculpture, ceramics, etc. Some schools had different focus in those areas. One school was best for automotive design, one was best for medical illustration, one for photography, ceramics, one was better for something like Disney.
As we sat there in-between meetings to chart out the next year of recruitment across the country, the topic of those two simple words came up, thank you. I had been thinking about writing a book about ‘thank you’ and mentioned that. Beth from Maine, her eye’s lit up, that’s a great idea! That was encouraging, I held her in high regard. And because more than once I’ve thought about writing a book.
Today I started thinking about the two words, I’m sorry. Maybe it’s just me, but have you ever noticed how people apologize for things that are out of their control or shouldn’t have to apologize for? But often the apology that really is needed, needed to be heard or should be said, rarely happens?
Four words, that just seem so simple to me. It may be my imagination, but I’ve felt that since that conversation and a bit before it, I have said thank you more than some. Maybe more than most? Maybe not? But if feels that way. Because it’s simple and it costs me nothing. It doesn’t have to be because someone pulled me out of the way of an accident, thank you. Or made some kind of grand gesture, two words for a simple gesture is good too, thank you. Moving their cart and themselves out of the middle of an aisle in a store so others can get past, thank you. Gesturing for you to go ahead, thank you. Someone picking up a piece of trash on the sidewalk in your town, thank you.
I’m sorry. Being in the way of someone getting down the aisle in a store, I’m sorry. Dropping trash on the sidewalk in your town, I’m sorry. Believing someone’s story, not discounting them or their story. Believing them and if a bad story, maybe just say, I’m sorry.
But what I hear most often is an I’m sorry for something that the person saying it has no control over. But they are saying it because maybe they think someone will complain. Think they are weak. Or not believe their story. Probably because they may not even believe it them selves. Like they have done this thing on purpose and now need to apologize. We should stop apologizing for, number one; crying when talking about someone dying. Or the injustice of a love one as victim and even criminal.
This may be a repeat, but I had been thinking for a while, that old saying about walking in another shoes, just wasn’t ‘fitting’ right with me. It wasn’t making sense. How could I truly know another experience. I didn’t know enough of their history to know what in their life could impact a situation and how they would respond or react to it. Then I heard Brene Brown talking to “O”;
“So the idea of walking in someone else’s shoes and trying to understand what they are feeling has no merit. The call is much more difficult and powerful and that is, to ask the person for their story for what it is like in their shoes and to believe them – not about guessing what they are feeling – – why do we think we have to walk in other people shoes? The hard part is the believing part. Because it either challenges what I want to be true about the world or challenges my idea that there is one experience of the world. Or it makes me accountable in some way that makes me uncomfortable.”
We will forever have problems with believing someone’s story, some will never be okay with the vulnerability of uncomfortable.
I watch weird television. Mostly because I can’t bring myself to listen to what people say about others, or see what we are doing to others so I watch crime shows and have been a bit in a rabbit hole lately of a show on youtube where this couple go around Oregon, mostly Portland, buy abandoned storage units and then sell that either in live auction or your typical for sale sites. And crime shows and people talking about the crime or injustice that has happened to them or a love one. They get emotional, cry and apologize. The two on Youtube apologize because the HVAC in the storage facility is noisy and it might impact the audio. They apologize to people who complain in the comments about how they run their business, or how they think they run their business. Or how they interact with each other. If you watch and pay attention, it seems they are having fun, rib each other and those complaining or saying things are the ones with the issues. Razz each other all you want! As long as they treat me the buying customer well, that’s all I care about. And I would bet the fee to buy one of those units that they do that ten fold.
People who apologize for crying because their loved one was brutally murdered or their loved one was wrongfully accused of a crime, evidence to prove it and they are still either being prosecuted or incarcerated 5, 10, 20 or 30 years. Or they did in fact commit a crime. Unless you are the one who did the crime, don’t apologize for them. You have nothing to apologize for unless you drove them to the crime, then that’s a different story.
Why are we not apologizing for the things that actually we should be apologizing for? The things that we have done that will impact others? Things that we have done that could have been avoided or represent such a narrow concept or ideology that it impacts others negatively.
Well, I guess we would have to have awareness to a certain degree that we even know that we have done or said something that is worthy of, I’m sorry.
I have a friend who will randomly post on Facebook, “I love you”. A few years ago, 2017 I posted on;
So much was happening that was adversely impacting others that I was at a loss as to what I could or should do. I couldn’t apologize for the masses. Much of what was happening was out of my control, completely. Same as today, but I can still say both as often as I can. Maybe someone or one person saw that I’m sorry that day and needed to see it. Even to say I’m sorry to themselves for something. Maybe we should all do that from time to time.
Descending the escalator June 15, 2016 it began. Interesting choice to descend rather than ascend.
D – To move from a higher to a lower place; come or go down.
A – To go or move upward; rise.
Permission was given to move to a lower place, down to a dangerous descent revealing our true selves word by demeaning word, lie by lie to where we are today. Dare I say, an indoctrination?
Decency be damned, don’t tread on me. I see no harm in balance, equality, fairness. Bring back decency.
We all have work to do.
A place that some of us sensed, some of us knew, many dreaded, others celebrated. Celebrated because they could now finally fully exhibit their true selves. Their fears and those feelings that they had kept to themselves until that permission was granted.
Decency doesn’t negate what one might think it does. It is not necessary to be safe or comfortable. You can still believe that people certain people should be deported, criminals. You can believe that your religion is the only religion, it is not. You can believe that everyone should do as you do, they should not. Decency is the part that stops you from acting on any of those beliefs that directly adversely impact another human minus justice and no legal, legitimate reason.
If properly maintained and balanced, justice will not let any of these fears you hold adversely impact you. However, actions based on those fears and lies absent of legitimacy, deport innocent people, kill or try to kill those in opposition, creating laws or policies as target with disregard to laws or justice by dehumanizing already disenfranchised individuals who are doing their best to create a good and safe life for themselves and their family. Lives that essentially have had no adverse impact on you or me. Yet some have been convinced otherwise because of weakness, insecurity and a desperate attempt of one very insecure person.
A good and safe life, just like the one that you hope for that for the most part before a few years ago had no real risk of being extinguished. Yet you took the word of someone with little knowledge of the human condition or spirit validate your fears. Validating them with unfounded, false stories that have no foundation of truth but are based in hateful vindication.
Decency is the state or quality of being decent. Behavior that is good, moral and acceptable in any society. When you want someone to be decent towards you, what does that mean? How or what do they say or not say? What has being decent done for you? What has the opposite done for you?
The deeper we go the less I understand. I wish that my Mom and her clear mind of about 2005 or so was here so I could ask her what is it she thinks feeds the extremism.
My head spins and I get that feeling in or near my heart that sometimes makes it way up to my throat, then out of my eyes.
It feels like an arrogance to a degree that is consequential, indescribable and void of description or definition.
In high school I think my Mom worried that I was on a path to extreme fundamental ideology. I wasn’t. But I guess it could have happened. I soon recognized in myself what I was not comfortable with. It was the extreme, the judgement of others that I had no right to judge and the arrogance that I thought it was my place to judge. That somehow because I was faithful, went to church, bible study or void of ‘sins’ that I was somehow superior and entitled to that judgement. I was not. That question ‘why’ was to prominent in my head and I asked it often. Something my Mom loved and it drove her crazy. I guess it’s one thing to have a child ask why over and over again, but a 20 year old?
And as I have realized in the last 10 years or so of required daily medication, I have absolutely no addictive qualities or tendencies. So a cultish space I would not be. That belief that it just takes three weeks, 21 days to create a habit, yeah nope. Not me. Lack of motivation and what I’ve always considered an abstract brain, to maintain a single train of thought, single or otherwise, an attention span, interests, curiosity, grief, contentment, introversion, solitude, too much time to think? Or maybe my aversion to redundancy is so deep seeded, that even remember to take a pill every morning for my health, even after 2 alarms, I’ll still not take it.
When I settle in and decided to go back to school in 1986 the liberal arts aspect of Kansas City Art Institute introduced me to more literature that I had been exposed to, Although I knew of most of it, I hadn’t read much of it yet. It provided me with classes in Western Thought, Eastern Thought, Jungian Thought and Philosophy of Religion. Philosophy.
When I think about this word conform it is opposite, diametrically opposed to and counter to anything I know or understand. I strive daily to bring my privileged existence to this world humbly with the values instilled in me by my parents and the Minister I listened to every Sunday for nearly 18 years. This statement does not fit into what I was taught.
And today, does not fit into how we should be as a nation. We have no right, would, should never have that right. As just one of a few billion unique people in the world, I see no one in this world who has the right to say this let alone someone with potential platform to put it into action. This is limiting and restrictive in a way that leaves no room for respect, love and compassion. Not to mention a level of arrogance that the Bible speaks against. Opposition to pride, grace to the humble.
