Othering
Sometimes I work for days or maybe even longer to put into words what is in my brain. Sometimes, lots of times I read someone else who brings the words together better than I could.
“Imagine a world where differences are not sources of division but threads woven into a vibrant tapestry of human experience.”
-Bridging Divides: Understanding and Overcoming “Othering”.
A set of dynamics, processes, and structures to engender marginality and inequality across any of the full range of human differences based on group identities,”
-Stephen Menedian, Haas and John A. Powell, UC Berkeley
“…values their own group while denigrating and excluding anyone from a group different from theirs…”
-MasterClass
In today’s climate and the overwhelming amount of rhetoric, it’s hard to not fall into othering language. And honestly, what some say is othering personified, inflammatory, reeks of dehumanization and makes me want to other them.
And…here is the part where I might lose some of you who are reading. Some may feel they have been excluded or denigrated. Well let’s take a few, are you Black, Brown, Gay, Lesbian, or Trans? If not, then you will have a hard time convincing me that you have been othered, truly marginalized. Sorry. Othering justifies mistreatment. Have you had your basic human rights taken? Stopped by law enforcement just because. That said, nothing justifies mistreatment, period. But let’s measure it.
With the language today, what or how some things are said in many circumstances I maintain, it’s not right or left, it is just wrong. I strive to be very measured and fair in what I say or write. Sometimes this works. Sometimes I hear myself othering. Sometimes I don’t hear it. I invite you to call me out.
Us vs. Them, racial or ethnic differences, gender, sexual orientation, and socioeconomic’s are frequent targets of othering and marginalization. This is happening today. Without actual proof or direct knowledge of facts, we are othering. Division, violence, persecution and broad marginalization is disrupting and fracturing levels of belonging that could and can rewards each of us with a range of experiences. Yes I said rewards. A range of rewards for us from those we are told to fear and avoid and see as enemy, simply are not.
I’m going to say it’s not US vs. Them. It’s US vs. *Him.
Unity for me is all about letting people do their own thing and live their best lives. It’s not about controlling or expecting others to do what I think is right. It’s about giving them the freedom to take care of themselves and make choices that are best for them, without physical harm to another. The hard part, when something is said and within hours you see or read the direct negative impact of what was said.
I sincerely hope that we all share a common understanding of right and wrong. I believe that a moral and ethical compass guides us away from causing harm to others and encourages us to seek the root causes of such harm without prejudice.
However, if we let it happen, once the ‘othering’ is complete and a small group of white (rich) men make decisions for you, what kind of life will you have? Does the peace and stability you seek truly involve the exclusion of others? Where does this process end? Do you genuinely believe it will stop before it reaches you?
If your purpose is to protect your family, what are you protecting them from? Seriously. I more or less know most of you reading this. (btw, thank you if you are) I more or less know where you live. What do you need protection from? An invisible boggy-man that someone in DC made up to scare you? Someone who has never been in your neighborhood? Someone who does not know you who has one purpose, themself.
How might you best protect your family, your loved ones? I don’t believe it is universally mandating one way for us to all live. And that one segment of us is evil. This is autocracy. And it feels a bit like, well if everyone live one way, then it releases us from having to do any of the work to ensure fairness and equality. Let’s just close the windows, put up the blinders and have nothing here that broadens any experience. Maybe you don’t have the time to discuss the differences or opposing opinions. Fine. What about your kid? Your grandkid? Bet they are, so let them drive the conversation and participate in it! Then you can be prepared to see the extreme in either direction. And be realistic about what extreme is. That scary, critical thinking thing.
Is your past clean enough to not be othered by someone? Jimenez a legal permanent resident, mother of four was detained at Boston Logan for 10 days because of a 20 year old charge that is no longer a crime. In college she had a small amount of marijuana on her. So not a rapist or a murderer. If we continue to turn our heads to this because, not me. Are you sure? Wondering what had to be done to find her and that 20 year old charge from when Jimenez was in college? And with the new supreme court ruling essentially allowing racial profiling, who is at risk? Every single one of us. Do you have loved ones that could be ‘seen’ as an “illegal”?
“The Fourth Amendment protects every individual’s
constitutional right to be “free from arbitrary interference
by law officers.” Brignoni-Ponce, 422 U. S., at 878.
After today, that may no longer be true for those who
happen to look a certain way, speak a certain way, and
appear to work a certain type of legitimate job that pays
very little. Because this is unconscionably irreconcilable
with our Nation’s constitutional guarantees, I dissent.”
~ Supreme Court Justice Sotomayor
I know it’s overwhelming, believe me! Please pay attention. Start locally. Spend your money locally, local shopping. What is the School board doing in your town? City Council, your State Representatives. Listen to what others are saying, listen to hear commonality. Listen to understand. There is a middle ground and it will not put your rights to believe what you believe or live the life you want to at risk. What is happening now, where we are headed, is a risk to all of us and not where I think we really want to be.