it’s too much

Sunday, 18 January 2015

I will say this upfront. And for the first of maybe several firsts, say I will not apologies for it. In terms of life journey, spirituality if you will, I am in constant flux as I search for those to match where I am in terms of that journey.


I find kind, generous souls who love and participate. To a point. Then they pull back. Call it fear, insecurity, call it what you will. But their alignment at some point is no longer aligned and I am once again saddles with the question, do I wait with them or move on?


I had a session with Trisha this week at T.Michaels Healing Arts Center. And while she said many, many things in our four plus hour session. This is what has brought me here, now writing this.


“no wonder you wanted to stay out of society this time –  you’ve worked – you’ve tried to create movement and people are just, nope aren’t playing – so why stick your neck out any longer – it’s too much”


I’ve felt or thought this often in the past as I do now. But then I stop and don’t give myself credit for having more, for being more. For being further along. I settle back into the status quo and I wait. I wait for them to catch up. Most often they don’t and then months or years later someone news comes in to view and those in the view, are in the rear view and seem to becoming or appearing smaller with each glance.


At times it has been too much. But I have jumped in, all in and participated. I’ve dipped my foot, so to speak in the waters of community and partnership. Actually, to be fair to myself, I’m all in. I’ve committed to the safety, health and well being of communities, watched, observed and participated. Offered many levels of emotional support, advise and compassion.


But not everyone is ready for that, to be all in committed to the divine presence of true peace and harmony as a whole. To set aside their own fears and inadequacies, to embrace them and glean the lesson with pride and humility rather than fear, embarrassment and rejection.



I did take away one additional thought from this session with Trisha. It’s about my vow of silence. I am in the throws of embracing it again.

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